


Fourteen Days

by Anonymous



Category: Crankiplier - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Come Eating, Consent, Conversations, Developing Relationship, Developing Sexual Relationship, Eating Disorders, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Negative Body Image, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Rape Recovery, Sad, Sex, Smut, Trust, abuse recovery, assault recovery, handjobs, phantom sensation, sex negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:35:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28951275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Ethan is tired of feeling a mental block in his relationship with Mark. He does research on how to feel better after his past experiences.Mark is more than happy to do anything to help, also wanting to move past his own bad experiences.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 113
Kudos: 188
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28928040) literally yesterday and I was thinking about turning this one shot into a more in depth storyline. Well, here it is. I'm super excited to do this. Updates may be irregular because I'm in school right now.
> 
> Let me know what you think and if you tell me what you'd want to see. I may work it into the plan :) <3 
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that's mildly proofed.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -TATC

Ethan stood in the doorway that merged the living room and the dining room together. He was admiring Mark from afar, taking in his features, taking note of the way his dark curls framed his face and the way he looked at peace as he was slowly writing across his yellow journal. 

Mark and Ethan had been dating for over a year and they moved in together a couple of months ago. It was a big step for both of them, considering their history with their previous partners. Mark’s ex-girlfriend had been forceful to say the least, always manipulating Mark into doing things he was not necessarily wanting to do. Ethan had lived with a man who drove him away from being with his family and his friends to keep Ethan in the apartment. Keeping Ethan to be his “support” when he felt lonely which was almost constant. 

Ethan had been having a hard time sleeping in the bed he shared with Mark since they had moved in together. Despite his mind knowing he was safe with Mark, his subconscious thought otherwise and his body’s muscle memory would not let go of the fear it once knew lying next to another person. 

Ethan longed to experience some kind of comfort in intimacy again. He had mostly healed from the unpleasant sexual experiences he had in the past, but the gentle intimacy was difficult for him. He knew that for Mark the giving and sometimes receiving of certain sexual contact was difficult for him. 

He wondered if Mark longed to be able to touch him in a gentle, intimate way that most couples do. To be able to comfort him with gentle touches the way Ethan wished he could help Mark feel comforted and attractive. Ethan always had a difficult relationship with his self image and that unfortunately seeped into his relationship with Mark. He found it difficult to give into those gentle, loving gestures. Sometimes Ethan would even forget to tell Mark just how gorgeous he thought he was. 

On the other side of this, Mark longed to be able to feel comfortable around Ethan. Longed to be comfortable with touching him sexually. Mark longed to be the person to bring Ethan an orgasm the way Ethan. Mark knew Ethan would sometimes be sexually frustrated and Mark would be too, but his mind wouldn’t always cooperate with his body. Wouldn’t always let him forget all the times her voice would ring in his ears. 

Ethan finally decided to shake away the thoughts of the many conversations he had with Mark about their pasts and he took a deep breath. He had been meaning to talk to Mark about an intimacy and sexual try for their relationship. He had been reading extensively online about how to build their sexual lives and intimacy. He had been reading about how it could be beneficial for sexual assault survivors to practice the build up over a period of time to build comfort and trust. Slowly add more gestures and experiences to hopefully bridge the gaps between their minds and bodies. 

“Mark,” Ethan spoke quietly, gently, almost afraid to break the silence. 

Mark looked up at his boyfriend, pressing the pen he was writing with between the two sheets of his journal to keep his spot before closing it. Ethan took steps forward as he began speaking again. 

“I um, I wanted to talk about something.” 

“Come sit,” Mark said, gesturing to the other end of the couch, setting his journal down on the coffee table. “Is everything okay?”

“Um yes, I’m just..frustrated I think?” Ethan said, sounding more like a question than a statement.

“About what?”

“Me, um, our pasts.” Ethan mumbled out, knowing Mark could put the pieces together to understand what he was getting at. 

Mark hummed in acknowledgement.

“I’ve been wanting to ask what you might think about a fourteen day try?”

“What do you mean exactly?” Mark asked, not sounding frustrated or angry, just genuinely curious. 

“For fourteen days we build up to sex slowly and build up intimate touches slowly. . I know we’ve only talked about having penetritve sex a couple of times and please don’t feel pressured. I just-, I want to be able to experience the non-sex part of intimacy with you and I know you’ve expressed before that you want to be able to get to sex with me one day.” 

Mark just blinked at Ethan’s rambles and stayed silent for a few moments trying to process what he had just been told. Mark wanted to. He wanted to be able to get there with Ethan. 

“Would you be upset if I couldn’t get there with you?” 

“Would you be upset if I couldn’t handle some touches?” Ethan answered with a question, knowing the answer would be no. 

“Absolutely not, you know that.”

“There’s your answer.” 

Taking a deep breath, Mark asked, “What exactly did you have in mind?”

Ethan expected this. He knew Mark needed details, needed to know that to expect and what could possibly happen. Mark didn’t like surprises in their intimate life. 

“I was thinking slow and steady. Starting with maintaining better eye contact for me, maybe you could talk to me about what you’d want to do if we had sex, then build it up slowly, you know? Move on to more touches, more sexual, more intimate. I have it all planned out.” Ethan explained, nervousness lacing his voice. 

Mark flushed slightly at the mention of what he would want to do with Ethan. They continued talking and planning what their fourteen days would look like. They decided that they would follow their “prompts” for each day and both were comfortable with taking it wherever it would go, not being too rigid. 

They decided the fourteen days would start today.  
\--- 

After dinner both men found themselves sitting together in their bay window. The curtains were drawn shut, giving them privacy and there was a perfect ambiance set in the small nook in their home with candles and twinkle lights. They sat facing each other, knees bent up and their legs loosely slotted together. Their gazes were locked together, simply looking into each other’s eyes. 

Some discomfort was bubbling inside of Ethan as Mark looked into his eyes. He felt exposed, as if Mark could see his every flaw and his every thought that bounced through his head. 

“Sometimes..I think about teasing you,” Mark said in a hushed down, nearly sounding embarrassed. The confidence in Mark that Ethan was used to was gone. 

“Only tell what you’re comfortable with,” Ethan reminded him gently, his eyes constantly flickering back and forth from Mark’s to the wall and back again. 

“I’ve heard you masturbate before, in the shower. And I think about what it would be like to help you,” Mark mumbled, looking away a few times, a dark flush evident on his cheekbones. 

After that, they grew quiet again. Gazing at each other, Ethan occasionally breaks eye contact, only to reconnect again a few minutes later. Mark reaches a trembling hand forward, resting it against the side of Ethan’s thigh, thumb resting against his kneecap. 

“You okay?” Ethan asked Mark before Mark could ask Ethan if it was okay if his hand was there. 

“I think so. Are you?” 

“Yea,” Ethan breathed out, relaxing back against the frame of the window, eyes slipping shut. 

“I really like your legs,” Mark commented after a couple of minutes. 

“I like yours, too,” Ethan grinned, keeping his eyes closed, his mind exhausted from looking into Mark’s eyes. A quick flash of a phantom sensation took Ethan by surprise. A hand that wasn’t there was gripping his jaw painfully tight for a split second. His body jerked, momentarily forgetting where he was. 

“I’m sorry!” Mark rushed out, pulling his hand away. 

The loss of touch sent Ethan’s mind wandering more. He needed to be grounded, he could feel his mind slipping away slowly. Ethan took a deep, quick breath through his nose, reaching out for Mark’s hand. Luckily, Mark didn’t hesitate to press his hand into his boyfriend’s searching hand. 

“Not you, not you,” Ethan mumbled out, his mouth feeling full of cotton. “You didn’t do anything.” 

Mark was always cautious of Ethan falling back into an episode of flashbacks. Whether Ethan liked to admit or not, it happened fairly often. Not as bad as it was when they had started dating, but still happened nonetheless. Ethan’s negative experiences were much more recent than Mark’s, leaving some of the mental wounds still open. 

“You’re okay,” Mark reminded me. 

“I know,” Ethan breathed, squeezing Mark’s hand gently. 

Mark squeezed back. They sat there for a long while as Ethan came back to reality. Their butts hurt from sitting for so long, but neither of them cared. Mark asked Ethan if he could hug him as they stood from the bay window, and Ethan surprisingly agreed. 

He felt comfortable after sitting with Mark, looking at his eyes and knowing that he was really there. Really there loving him. Ethan snaked his arms around Mark’s middle and Mark wrapped his arms tightly around Ethan. They both made their way to bed together, nervous and excited for the next day’s events. Despite their nerves running wild, exhaustion took over the both of them.


	2. Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for the support. If you want to see anything, I can try to work it into the plan! 
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that's only mildly proofed. Enjoy!
> 
> -TATC

_“Maaaark,” Her sticky sweet voice rang through Mark’s head._

_“Maaaark, please come help me,” Her voice was breathy and whiney._

_“What do you need, Mel?”_

_Mark dreaded what she would say. He knew that it was probably her wanting Mark to help her get off. And he didn’t want to. He was tired, exhausted. It had been a long day on the construction site he had been working on._

_“I need you.”_

_Mark cringed at her words. Knowing he was better off complying, he pushed himself up from the fluffy chair that sat in the corner of the large bedroom. He knew if he didn’t do this for her, she would hit him. Smack him and let her chunky rings bruise his face. Her nails would scratch against his chest and leave scars if he denied her._

_She always found a way to get him to comply. She knew he would never act against him. Never hit back. He would always stand there and take it._

_“Come here,” she purred as Mark rounded the corner into the living room._

The memory always came and went for Mark. It hadn’t bothered him in a long time. Now it was just a memory, a part of his past that he knew still affected his relationships, not so much his mental state anymore. 

Mark continued throughout his day as though the thought had never entered his mind. He mulled over the events of last night. He wondered how Ethan was feeling today after the small flash of painful memories the night before. He wondered if it ever lingered in his mind. If it still bothered him when he re-experienced those memories so vividly. 

Today was Friday and that meant Ethan was off at the used bookstore, meandering through the tall stacks of books while Mark was working on some YouTube videos for his channel. Mark mainly focused on his gaming and Ethan had transitioned from Lets Plays to Let’s Make Art. Mark used Fridays to do a lot of bulk recording for games and Ethan made himself scarce so the house would be quiet. He used that time to rummage through old books for inspiration. 

While Mark was screaming at his computer screen, Ethan was thumbing along the spines of old, tattered books in the book store. Some of them were recently published books, read so much that the spines feathered and tattered at the seams. Other books were old, published decades ago, the pages yellowed. Ethan took a deep breath, relishing in the smell of old books. 

A book catches his eye. The edges of the soft cover spine worn, he pulls the book and examines the cover.

“The Way I Used To Be,” he spoke quietly to himself. 

“That’s a good book,” The soft spoken voice of the bookstore worker said to him. 

Margaret was her name. She was used to seeing Ethan there almost every Friday. 

“It’s about sexual assault,” she said, her slightly high pitched voice usually brought Ethan some comfort. 

But this time the words sent an uncomfortable heat through his body. It suddenly felt like his clothes were too tight, too warm for the weather. 

“I don’t think I could read this,” Ethan mumbled, placing the book back on the shelf where he found it. 

“That’s okay! There’s some new poetry in the back if you’re interested,” She said before walking away quietly to attend to the register bell that had just rung throughout the store. 

Ethen decided to end his inspiration hunt early, making his way home. The car ride was silent, Ethan having opted to not turn on the radio or sync his phone up to the car speakers. The windows were rolled down and the warm California air circulated through the car. Drives like this always calmed Ethan, the gentle air tousling his hair and the smell of freshly cut grass filled his nose. 

He pulled into the driveway, parking his car next to Mark’s. Slowly, carefully, and calculated he got out of the car. His body felt syrupy and a little lethargic. After making his way as quietly as possible into the home he shared with Mark, Ethan started the coffee maker, brewing himself a single serving of coffee. Carefully he poured himself the coffee and sat back in the nook he and Mark sat in the night before. 

He smiled to himself, remembering the previous night's events. Although it was difficult, he loved looking at Mark. Just enjoying the way his eyes looked. He loved the feeling of Mark’s hand on his thigh, enjoying the way the warmth spread from his palm. Ethan grinned as he heard Mark’s gentle steps through the house. 

He missed Mark and he longed for Mark’s touch again. Especially more since he had touched him in their small bubble of intimacy last night. He wanted to feel his hands again. 

“Hi,baby,” Mark’s low voice spoke, catching Ethan’s attention. 

Ethan looked up at Mark. he was wearing a light grey crew neck and soft looking black sweatpants. Fuzzy socks were on his feet, making him look gentle and soft. In that moment Ethan decided he would challenge himself a little, he wanted comfort, he didn't feel very good. He got up from the nook, leaving his mug behind. He walked right up to Mark and nuzzled his face into his chest, seeking some comfort that he didn’t quite understand why he wanted. 

“You okay?” Mark asked quietly, pressing a gentle hand between Ethan’s shoulder blades to hold him close. 

“I just want a hug,” He mumbled into Mark’s shirt. 

Mark silently wrapped his arms around Ethan’s shoulders, holding him tight. Ethan took a deep breath in, finding the scent of Mark’s cologne comforting and therapeutic. 

“You’re doing so good,” Mark mumbled into Ethan’s hair, rubbing his back with one hand and holding him close with the other arm. “You’re doing so well asking for a hug,” Mark whispered the praise knowing this was difficult for Ethan. Knowing it probably took everything in his boyfriend to even walk up to him and tell him he needed the hug. 

Ethan looked up at Mark, putting his chin on his chest. Mark gazed down at Ethan, noticing his eyes were slightly glazed with tears. He couldn’t help but lean down and gently brush his lips against Ethan’s. Ethan’s eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the sensation. He could still feel that his shoulder muscles were tense, anxiety still lightly thrumming through his body. But he wanted Mark to keep holding him, to keep touching him despite the slight discomfort.   
The tears dribbled down Ethan’s face as Mark pressed his lips a little firmer to Ethan’s. The gesture was still gentle, careful, and calculated, mindful to not cross his own boundaries and Ethan’s. Mark brought a hand up to gently cup Ethan’s jaw, wiping away a tear. Ethan flinched slightly, but still leant into the touch. 

“You okay?”

“Keep kissing me, please, ” Ethan mumbled, wanting to continue being close to Mark. He longed to have his hands on his body, to forget the other touches that plagued him, that lingered in the back of his mind. 

“Ethan, are you sure?” Mark asked, seeing how distressed he was. 

“Please, if you want to,” Ethan nearly whined. “I just want to feel you.” 

Mark looked at Ethan, there was a desperate look in his eyes. Mark could tell his partner felt touch starved and desperate. Cupping both sides of his jaw, Mark tilted Ethan’s head up to him, pressing a long, firm kiss to his damp lips. Tears freely flowed down Ethan’s cheeks, emotions overwhelming him at the loving gesture. Ethan hadn’t experienced this intense of a kiss with Mark since the first few months of their relationship. This caused Ethan’s body to tremble, a terrible sadness and shame he felt that these non-sexual gestures often brought him some discomfort. 

Ethan clutched at Mark’s shirt as he was still pressed against his firm torso, still gently kissing him. Ethan wanted more, he wanted to feel Mark more even if the gentleness of it all left him feeling slightly queasy. The longing he had for Mark’s touch almost out weighed the residual unsettling feeling that always lingered in the back of his mind when this happened. 

When Ethan flicked his tongue against Mark’s bottom lip, Mark pulled away, slightly breathless.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea right now, baby,” Mark whispered, wiping the tears from Ethan’s face with his thumbs. 

“But-”

“You’re overwhelmed, right now.” 

Ethan knew Mark was right. He knew Mark knew him too well. Mark could read him like a book.

“Can we continue later? If that’s okay?” Ethan asked timidly, looking away. 

“Yes, we can try to continue later. After all, we said we’d try fourteen days right?”

“Right,” Ethan smiled. 

“Come on, get in the shower so you can feel better.” 

Ethan loved how much Mark knew what he needed. He hoped he was doing the same for Mark. 

\--  
Once Mark heard the water turn off in their en-suite bathroom, he got up from the bed where he was sitting up against the headboard with a few pillows. Ethan asked him to stay in the bedroom, needing the comfort of knowing he was in just in the next room. 

He pressed his ear against the door listening for Ethan’s movements. He could hear him rustling around, probably getting dressed. He hated how self conscious Ethan felt about the way he looked. He was perfectly healthy and could be considered on the thinner side. After a few minutes, Mark cracked the door slightly before he spoke.

“Ethan, I’m coming in okay?”

“Okay!” 

When he pushed the door open, Ethan was scrambling to pull a shirt that was three sizes too big on his body. He was already wearing loose sweatpants that hid how thin his legs were and the shirt only hid his figure more. 

“I’m going to do something and I need you to trust me, okay?” Mark asked, looking in Ethan’s eyes. 

“Okay, I trust you.” 

“You can always tell me no and to stop.”

“I know, Mark.” 

Just as Ethan had worked himself up to hug Mark, Mark had worked himself up this moment while Ethan was showering. Mark walked up to Ethan, gazing down at him. He planted his hands on Ethan’s hips and quickly hoisted him up onto the bathroom counter top. A surprised gasp left Ethan’s lips followed by a short giggle. 

“That’s not what I was expecting,” Ethan giggled. 

“Is this okay?” Mark said, planting his hands just above Ethan’s thighs. 

“It’s perfect. Is it okay with you?”

“Perfect.” 

Mark captured Ethan in another breathtaking kiss. They slowly built up their intensity. Ethan’s fingers were curled around the edge of the countertop, not wanting to push Mark more than he was probably already pushing himself. Ethan loved the feeling of Mark’s lips on his own, the warmth that blossomed from the action flowed through his body. 

Mark slowly pulled away from Ethan’s lips, instead opting to press gentle kisses to his cheek. He slowly worked his way along his jaw and up to his ear. Ethan shivered at the sensation of Mark’s breath on his neck and ear. 

“You okay?” Ethan whispered, placing a hand on Mark’s shoulder. Mark had rested his forehead against Ethan’s shoulder, causing Ethan to be concerned. 

“Yea, just...excited and I don’t like that right now.” 

Ethan simply nodded, rubbing his hand along Mark’s arm to bring him some comfort. Mark appreciated Ethan understanding what he needed and respecting his boundaries. They felt extremely lucky to have each other.


	3. Day Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support. The comments really help!
> 
> I may include something you want to see.
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed.
> 
> -TATC

Both men were lying in bed just a few hours after their wonderful make out session. It was well past midnight, officially making it a new day. They were lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling and their fingers intertwined together. Mark’s thumb was brushing against Ethan’s knuckles and Ethan was gently squeezing Mark’s hand back in response. 

“She used to tell me that I owed her sex,” Mark said quietly. 

Ethan squeezed his hand again, not turning to look at Mark, but showing the acknowledgement of his words. 

“Do you want to tell me more about her? I know we don’t really talk about the details. Either of us.”

“Yea, just need a second,” Mark said shakily, taking a deep breath in. 

Ethan knows what Mark is feeling. Feeling like he can only say so much without becoming overwhelmed. He also knows that lonely feeling of having experienced something less than positive from someone who claims they love and care about you. He doesn’t want Mark to feel lonely, he wants to remind him that it isn’t just him that has experienced something like this. 

“Would you feel better if I shared some things, too?” 

“I think so, but I don’t want you to feel obligated, baby,” Mark said, turning his head to look at Ethan who kept his eyes fixed to the ceiling. 

“He um, he used to tell me that he was lonely and that I had to be the one to comfort him. He would always hold me too tight, too close, too….touchy.” 

Mark rubbed his thumb over Ethan’s knuckles slower, the gesture comforting Ethan. 

“She used to hit me and scratch me,” Mark whispered and that’s when Ethan turned to look at him. He could hardly see the glint of Mark’s eyes through the soft moonlight that seeped through the curtains. Ethan felt horrified that Mark had experienced that. “That’s how she would get me to...help her.” 

“Is that where the scars on your chest came from?” Ethan asked carefully, hoping he wasn’t pushing too much. 

Mark self consciously rubbed a hand over his clothed chest, “Yea, that’s why I don’t like to take my shirt off a lot.” 

“I used to think I was overweight and I told him that. I thought I could share that with him and he told me I was. He told me to...exercise more and eat less.”

That’s when Mark put the pieces together. That’s when he realized that’s why Ethan sometimes looked at particularly greasy food skeptically. Why Ethan sometimes liked to go on long walks with Spencer after a larger meal. Ethan had also been putting the pieces together as to why Mark always felt odd when Ethan was wanting sexual intimacy and why he never liked his chest touched or exposed. 

“I think you’re gorgeous,” Mark mumbled, reaching out to cup Ethan’s cheek. 

Much to Mark’s surprise, Ethan closed his eyes and leant into Mark’s palm. He was beginning to enjoy and even desire the gentle touches of Mark’s hands and the tips of his fingers. 

“You’re so much more gentle than he ever was,” he whispered. 

“You’re so much more considerate than she ever was.”

“Tomorrow, well, I guess in the morning, can we do the kisses we talked about?” 

Mark hummed, “Where we kiss each other’s bodies? And give each other compliments?”

“Is that okay?” 

“Yes, baby. Thank you for always asking,” Mark said, pressing a kiss to Ethan’s forehead. 

“Thank you for being patient,” Ethan mumbled, his lips against Mark’s chin. 

They were lightly tangled together, slowly dozing off. Mark’s hand was still gently cradling Ethan’s cheek, their foreheads pressed together. Mark was internally grateful that they decided to try these fourteen days of intentional intimacy. He found it to be a lot easier than he expected. 

“Do you think it’s gross? That a woman raped me?” Mark asked, half asleep. 

Ethan was caught off guard, sleep slowly fading away from his mind.

“No, because she had no right to do that to you.”

With that, both men fell asleep in each other's arms.

\--

When Mark woke up late in the morning, Ethan was gone, no longer lying with him in bed. The other side of the bed was cold, indicating to Mark that Ethan had been up for a while now. He could hear the light clinging of pans and the sound of gentle jazz music playing in the kitchen. Mark gorilla got up from his bed and made his way downstairs. 

Ethan was standing in the kitchen in front of the stove making scrambled eggs. He was wearing his oversized shirt that hung off his shoulders, exposing a small sliver of his upper back and the tops of his shoulders. He wasn’t wearing pants, his shirt hanging down to his mid thigh. Mark took a moment to admire the expanse of Ethan’s milky white skin. 

“Good morning,” Mark mumbled, walking to the coffee maker and pouring himself a mugful.

“Hi,” Ethan whispered, his voice sounding a little rough. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just not good sleep,” Ethan mumbled, plating the eggs on two plates with toast already on them. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark said gently, rubbing his hand lightly over Ethan’s upper arms. 

He tensed slightly at the action, quickly forcing himself to relax after reminding himself that it's just Mark. No one else. Mark noticed a slightly pink scar on the back of Ethan’s neck where it meets his back that he’d never seemed to notice before. Without thinking, he rubbed the pad of his thumb over the slightly raised skin, but didn’t comment on it. Ethan was grateful for that. 

“Let’s eat,” Mark suggested, pouring another mug of coffee for Ethan. 

They sat in a comfortable silence, occasionally talking about the weather, the dogs, or what they had planned for their respective channels. 

“Mark, can we do our try in a bit? I don’t really want to do it at night, again.” 

Ethan shifted uncomfortably as he asked the question. The majority of Ethan’s negative experiences happened in the evening or late at night. He wanted to experience the day’s try in daylight, not wanting to trigger himself. He almost felt ridiculous asking Mark for this accommodation. 

“Yea, of course. Can I ask why?”

Ethan took a long, sip of coffee before he answered, barely above a whisper.

“It almost always happened at night.”

“How about we clean up here and we can try. How does that sound?” 

“I’m okay with that,” Ethan smiled. 

Mark instructed Ethan to go get comfortable in their room and to set it up however he felt the most comfortable. Mark knew this would be the most difficult for him. To be able to receive Mark’s tenderness, to know that Mark loves him. When Mark finished cleaning up the kitchen, he made his way quietly to the bedroom and knocked gently on the slightly ajar door. 

“Are you ready Eth?” 

“Y-Yea, come in.”  
Mark pushed the door open, met with the smell of citrus floating through the air. The curtains were drawn, but the slats underneath were open creating a warm atmosphere in the bedroom. Ethan was lying in the center of the bed, his shirt discarded somewhere in the corner of the room and a thin sheet covered him from the chest down. He looked ethereal in the soft lighting. 

“You’re gorgeous, baby,” Mark whispered, more to himself than to Ethan. 

He walked toward the bed and sat on the edge, looking to Ethan. 

“If it’s okay with you, I want this to just be about you,” Mark mentioned, brushing Ethan’s hair away from his forehead. 

“But- I want you to experience something, too,” Ethan protested, eyes going wide. 

“Tomorrow, but today, I think you need this.”

Ethan trusted Mark. He trusted him to see what he needed when he didn’t feel his best. He knew Mark could see that in him, his pain, his shame, and Ethan was grateful that Mark hardly ever commented on it. 

“Okay, but you’ll stop if I ask you to, right?” Ethan’s voice got pitchy toward the end of his question, almost sounding afraid. Scared that Mark wouldn’t listen to his needs.

“Ethan,” Mark gently gripped his chin with his thumb and forefinger, turning Ethan’s face so he could look at his eyes. “Don’t you ever think I wouldn’t respect it if you asked me to stop.” 

Ethan’s eyes became glassy as Mark spoke to him. The words hit him like a bus. Sometimes he forgets how amazing of a person Mark is to be so patient with Ethan. Ethan nodded, not trusting his voice.

“I need you to verbally tell me you still want to do this,” Mark asked, still looking into Ethan’s hazel eyes. 

“I still want to,” Ethan whispered. 

Without another word, Mark began carding his fingers through Ethan’s deep brown hair and pressed his lips to his forehead. “You are so gorgeous.” 

The purpose of this try was for the receiving partner to soak in the compliments of their giving partner. To just listen and receive compliments and affirming touches. 

“You’re so smart and creative.”

Mark pressed his lips to his temple then along his cheekbones. Ethan closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to will his body to relax and enjoy what Mark was giving him. 

“I love your skin, I love how soft it is.” 

He peppered kisses across Ethan’s exposed collarbones, the action sending shivers down Ethan’s spine. Mark laid down on his side next to Ethan so he could trail his fingers along his covered arms. 

“I don’t think you should hide yourself.”

Mark’s voice was gentle and soft as he carefully peeled down the sheet to Ethan’s hips. Ethan’s body began to tremble and he couldn’t tell if it was because he was cold or overwhelmed. 

“You’re so talented at creating art.”

Mark pressed each of Ethan’s fingers against his lips. He could feel his partner’s hands trembling slightly. 

“I love your figure.”

Mark trailed a warm hand along the expanse of Ethan’s chest and down his torso. The touch caused the muscles in Ethan’s stomach to contract and his breathing to pick up slightly, although not panicked. 

“Can I kiss your gorgeous body?” 

Ethan nodded, whispering a quiet ‘yes, please.”

Mark didn’t hesitate to start planting wet, open mouthed kisses to Ethan’s chest and down his stomach.

“I hope by the end of all this I can touch you here.”

Mark’s warm hand ghosted over Ethan’s pelvis and it sent a warm wave of heat through Ethan’s body. Mark stopped talking, settling for pressing warm kisses and gentle caresses over Ethan’s body. He gently trailed his fingers along the outside of his love’s thigh, trailing up over his hip bones and along his sides. 

“You’re absolutely gorgeous. I love you so much,” Mark whispered once the tips of his fingers reached up along Ethan’s jaws. 

“I love you, too. Thank you,” Ethan mumbled, leaning his cheek into Mark’s touch and letting his eyes flutter closed.

Mark pressed a chaste kiss to Ethan’s lips just before he settled his body next to Ethan’s. After hesitating for just a moment, Mark guided Ethan to rest against his chest, adjusting so his ear was over his heart. Ethan let Mark hold him for as long as he could stand. Until the heat between them became uncomfortable and almost suffocating. 

When Ethan couldn’t handle it anymore, he turned over to his side, back facing Mark. The gesture almost made Mark’s heart sink, but to his surprise, Ethan reached back in search of Mark’s hand. Mark pressed his hand to Ethan’s palm, Ethan guiding Mark’s hand to rest on his hip, still wanting to feel his touch. Mark squeezed lightly, hoping he was communicating to Ethan that he understood just what he was asking for.


	4. Day Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a couple of days. After I posted the last update I started feeling kind of sick and it got worse. Well, I decided to go get tested and I tested positive. Due to living in college housing, I had to be moved to an isolation unit and I have finally gotten settled in!
> 
> In other news, I have opened up my tumblr for some requests. So if you're not comfortable dropping suggestions/requests/comments in the comments below, you can send them to me privately now, [here!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tatc)
> 
> I've seen other's doing this, so why not?
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. Enjoy!
> 
> -TATC

_ “So handsome,” she purred in his ear, dragging her pointy nails along his chest. _

_ “Always so good for me, hm?”  _

_ Her deathly tight grip was looped around his wrist and forced his hand on her bare breast. He cringed, the bile building in the back of his throat at the action he was forced into.  _

_ “Do it the way I like it,” she growled. _

_ He complied. Knowing he couldn’t do anything else.  _

_ “That’s it, baby.” _

He jolted awake, the room still dark. It was the middle of the night. He blinked a few times before looking to his side, seeing his boyfriend lying there beside him. Ethan crawled close to Mark, curling himself against his boyfriend’s side. Mark in his sleep draped a heavy arm around Ethan’s curled shoulders. 

Nuzzling his face into Mark’s chest, Ethan forced himself to sleep. 

Ethan was awoken by Mark moving around to get up from the bed and take a shower. Ethan clung to his boyfriend’s muscular arms, wanting to stay close to him, not wanting him to leave him alone in the bed. He felt cold and lonely on the inside and he didn’t want it to manifest itself in reality. 

“I’ve got to shower, baby,” Mark said, his voice still raspy and laced with sleep. 

“Don’t leave me,” Ethan mumbled back. 

“Do you want to come with me?”

Ethan was caught off guard, not expecting for Mark to ever ask something like that. 

“Um, can we just turn the lights off? And leave the lights around the mirror on?”

“Yes, baby,” Mark said before pressing a quick kiss to Ethan’s forehead. 

Together with drowsy movements, both men got up from the bed and trudged to the bathroom. The remnants of Ethan’s dream slightly lingered in the back of his mind. He tried his best to push the lingering thoughts away as Mark started turning the knobs of the shower so that the water could warm up.

“You’re so handsome,” Ethan mumbled, as he pressed himself against Mark again, nuzzling his nose into his chest and sliding his hands up the back of his sleeping shirt. 

“Thank you,” Mark mumbled into Ethan’s hair. 

The dim lighting and the sound of the water running created a gentle ambiance in the bathroom. 

“So loving, so caring.”

Ethan drew his hands forward over Mark’s hips and up his stomach, pushing his shirt up. Mark lifted his arms and allowed for Ethan to to pull his shirt off of his body. After throwing his shirt in the general direction of the hamper, Ethan pressed his body against Mark’s making sure to thoroughly enjoy how Mark’s warm skin felt against his. Gently carding his fingers through Mark’s slightly tangled curls, Ethan spoke again. 

“You always take care of me when I’m not at my best.”

Ethan’s words were slightly slurred, as if he was drunk on the pure presence of Mark. 

“I love your body, it’s a plus to how amazing you are.” 

Ethan whispered, dropping his hand down to the curve of Mark’s boxer clad ass. 

“Can I?” He asked, rubbing his thumb along the elastic of Mark’s underwear. 

“Yes,” Mark whispered, looking down at Ethan with a soft look in his eyes. 

Ethan gently hooked his fingers into the elastic of Mark’s boxers and carefully pushed them down his toned legs. He bent down on one knee to help get the offensive piece of clothing off form around Mark’s ankles. 

Mark gently grabbed Ethan’s forearms and drew him up so he could really look at him. He cradled Ethan’s head in his hands, thumbs resting against his cheekbones as he pressed his forehead to Ethan’s. They gazed lovingly at each other for a few moments before Mark spoke softly. 

“Take your boxers off.”

Mark’s deep, baritone voice sent chills down Ethan’s spine. As Mark held Ethan’s face to his own, Ethan shakily pushed his underwear down and kicked them to the side. 

Mark guided Ethan into the expansive shower under the warm stream. Without any more words, they carefully began to wash each other. Ethan groaned at the way Mark’s fingernails gently scraped at his scalp when he washed his hair for him. 

With a soapy washcloth, Mark gently cleaned every inch of his love’s body. He loved the way Ethan shivered under his touch. Ethan was always so gentle and pliable when he was under Mark’s touch like this after he got comfortable. 

Once Mark had finished with Ethan, it was Ethan’s turn to help Mark. He did the same for him as Mark had done. He gently washed his hair, running his fingers along his scalp and through the dark curls. Mark nearly melted as Ethan washed his body for him. 

Ethan didn’t just clean Mark’s tan skin, he pressed his fingers gently and firmly into the tense muscles. The way Mark would softly groan when he hit a particularly tight knot would send a small wave of heat down Ethan’s body. 

Ethan knelt down in front of Mark, he was met with his gorgeous cock. It was an impressive length even when he was mostly soft. The sight caused Ethan’s mouth to nearly water, his own cock hardening by just thinking about what he could do. Ethan was tempted to touch Mark there, to lick him and taste him, but he refrained. They haven't really talked about this part yet and it should wait a few more days. It would be too big of a step. 

Ethan pressed his thin fingers into the thigh muscles of Mark’s thighs. Oddly enough, that’s where Mark held most of his stress. Tightening and loosening his legs whenever he was frustrated. When Ethan felt he was satisfied that Mark’s muscles were relaxed, he stood to face Mark again only to be met with his signature smirk. 

“I’m going to get out and let you take care of this,” Mark husked quietly, trailing a hand on Ethan’s lower stomach, dangerously close to where he wanted the stimulation. 

“O-Okay.”

Mark pressed a kiss to Ethan’s forehead and carefully stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. Once Ethan heard the door to the bathroom close, he wrapped a fist around himself. He stroked his cock in long, firm strokes, just the way he enjoyed it. 

He thought about Mark’s cock resting in his mouth, pleasuring himself as he pleasured Mark. He thought about what it would be like to feel Mark in him, in any way shape or form that Mark would allow him. Heat blossomed through Ethan’s body at the thought of Mark bringing him to an orgasm. 

Ethan pumped himself faster, bringing himself dangerously close to the edge. He was breathing out heavy puffs of air and low groans. He paused for a moment when he heard something over the water that was still washing over him.

“Fuck,  _ Ethan _ .”

It was Mark. He was moaning Ethan’s name. 

“So  _ sexy. _ ”

Knowing Mark was also probably jerking off is what drove Ethan over the edge, an orgasm washing over him. He groaned Mark’s name, hoping he could hear him. Hoping Mark knew it was  _ him _ who brought Ethan pleasure. 

After Ethan cleaned himself off and wrapped his hips in a puffy towel, he opened the door to find Mark sprawled out on the bed in only his boxers. A relaxed look was on his face, clear post orgasm relief and relaxation.

“You’re gorgeous,” Ethan whispered.

“So are you.” 

Both men started their days after that. Getting dressed in front of each other. It was a rarity for Ethan to feel comfortable getting dressed in front of Mark. But after realizing that Ethan brought Mark the same pleasure Mark brought him, he felt that much more comfortable to allow himself to be vulnerable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a couple of days. After I posted the last update I started feeling kind of sick and it got worse. Well, I decided to go get tested and I tested positive. Due to living in college housing, I had to be moved to an isolation unit and I have finally gotten settled in!
> 
> In other news, I have opened up my tumblr for some requests. So if you're not comfortable dropping suggestions/requests/comments in the comments below, you can send them to me privately now, [here!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tatc)!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. Enjoy!
> 
> -TATC


	5. Day Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a milder case of the *virus,* but it still sucks because it hits you like a truck sometimes. I'm okay, though! Thank you all so much for the good wishes! I'll try to get around to responding to comments tomorrow
> 
> If you want to see anything, let me know. I'll try to incorporate it in! :)
> 
> [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed.
> 
> -TATC

Ethan stood at the kitchen sink staring out the window at his dogs roaming around the back yard. The dreams from the night before lingered in Ethan’s mind. He wanted to tell Mark. He  _ needed  _ to tell Mark. He remembered when Mark first told him he had also experienced abuse and a less than healthy relationship with his ex. He remembered how less alone he felt knowing, how almost comforting it was to know that he wasn’t alone in experiencing abuse. Ethan always knew logically and statistically he wasn’t alone in his experiences, but it felt comforting to know that there was another person he personally knew. 

Mark found Ethan in the kitchen and to him, his beautiful boyfriend looked as though he was just enjoying the scenery outside. It was a beautiful day and he figured Ethan was wondering just how exactly he would mix the perfect shade of green so he could replicate their backyard on a canvas. Mark noticed Ethan had been distracted lately, always gazing at something, but he always just assumed he was coming up with new thoughts and ideas for his channel. It was no secret Ethan’s mind could wander. 

Mark couldn’t help refrain from walking up behind Ethan and looping his strong arms around Ethan’s middle. His firm chest pressed against Ethan’s back. 

“What the  _ fuck? _ ” Ethan’s voice was airy, the intonation of his voice flipping up at the last word of his question. He sounded angry.

His first reaction was to push at Mark’s hands, not completely understanding who was touching him in that moment. The touch of another man’s hands felt  _ suffocating _ to him, almost toxic. 

“Ethan it’s just me,” Mark insisted, almost sounding frustrated, confused at his boyfriend’s reaction. He didn’t understand. He had been doing so well, the tries had been going so well. 

“Get off.  _ Off! _ ” 

Mark let go when he realized Ethan was  _ afraid _ , not angry. Ethan whipped around after Mark let go, there was a wild look in his eyes. His eyes were wide and heavy breaths leaving his lips. He was visibly heaving, his shoulders moving rapidly up and down, up and down. Mark tried to reach forward, wanting to comfort Ethan. 

“Just give me a second!” Ethan cried, pushing Mark’s hand down. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark apologized. 

“Why didn’t you  _ ask? _ ” Now Ethan sounded angry. Angry Mark didn’t ask him if it was okay. 

“I thought- You’d been doing so well-”

“I’m not! I’m not doing well!” 

Mark was left speechless. He hadn’t realized Ethan’s distraction wasn’t his ADD it was the anxiety. It was PTSD. He saw it now, the way Ethan’s eyes were slightly glassy the last couple of days. 

“What’s going on?” Mark whispered, slowly reaching forward to place his hands lightly on Ethan’s shoulders. 

“I-I remembered something,” Ethan mumbled, looking down at his feet. 

Mark noticed Ethan’s knees were trembling. He couldn’t even imagine what was going through his mind. Lightly gripping Ethan’s wrist, Mark placed his hand to his own shoulder, and placed his hand on Ethan’s side to slowly guide him down to sit on the kitchen floor. 

“Sit, sit,” Mark coaxed, slowly helping Ethan sink down. 

“I thought I was healed, I thought I was better,” Ethan mumbled, bending his knees up to his chest. “I remembered something from high school.” 

“Take your time,” Mark reminded him as he sat down next to him. He left distance between them, just enough so Ethan didn’t feel suffocated but close enough that he could reach out and touch him. 

“Before our shower yesterday I had a dream, a memory? Yeah, a memory I guess. A friend, a girl in high school. I told her I was gay and I remembered when she thought I just needed to be with a girl. And..and I remembered the way she used to make me touch her.” 

Ethan rambled a little and Mark stayed quiet, trying to understand what Ethan was telling him. It left a pang in his heart knowing that Ethan had more bad experiences than he originally thought. Mark had just had the one bad relationship, but not the way Ethan had. After a few quiet minutes Ethan spoke again.

“I’m sorry I got angry.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask.” 

They linked their pinkies together against the kitchen floor. Ethan scooted close to Mark and laid his head on his shoulder. Mark leant his head against Ethan’s, rubbing his cheek gently into his hair. 

\--

After Ethan and Mark had managed to haul themselves up off the kitchen floor, they each went to work on their own creative works. Mark holed away to edit a video and Ethan set up to stream. He was just going to stream for a couple of hours, a simple watercolor study. He loved to paint, watching the colors blossom and mix together on the slightly damp paper. 

Both men were equally excited to do what they had planned tonight. Just a planned make out session. Ethan planned to sit on Mark’s lap and hopefully they would manage to take eachother’s clothes off- nothing more in this session. 

Once they were both finished filming and streaming, they had dinner together. Homemade burgers and fries, they shared giggles and jokes together. Ethan helped Mark clean up the kitchen, drinking a glass of wine in the process. 

After the last dish was put in the dishwasher and the last gulp of wine was drunk, Ethan took Mark’s hand and guided him to the living room. He pushed him to sit on the couch and Ethan straddled his muscular thighs. Mark’s hands tentatively rested on Ethan’s hips. 

“You still sure?” Mark asked.

“Positive,” Ethan said, leaning forward, his lips just  _ barely _ grazing Mark’s. 

Mark slid his hand on the back of Ethan’s head and pressed his lips to Ethan’s. The kiss was warm and gentle, full of love and passion. Ethan whimpered slightly at the action, loving the way Ethan’s hand felt on his hip and in his hair. Ethan was happy he told Mark about what he had remembered. He no longer felt as weighted down when doing these tries. He felt lighter, a little more content. 

Ethan clutched his hands in Mark’s shirt, pressing himself close to his chest. He lightly licked at Mark’s lip and Mark happily parted his lips for Ethan to slide his tongue in along his. Their tongues swirled together, lightly licking in each other’s mouths. 

Ethan pulled back to breathe and pull his own shirt off. Mark’s eyes got wide at his action and he pulled his own shirt off in response. With strong arms, Mark wrapped his arms around Ethan’s hips and pulled him close, bare chests pressing together. He reattached their lips, kisses more frantic and needy. 

Ethan’s hands were dragging over Mark’s shoulders and down his biceps. He loved the way his muscles felt and he loved to draw Mark. He loved creating the depth and shadow around his muscle structures. Thin fingers found their way to the front of Mark’s pants, trailing over the button. 

“Can-Can you take this off?” Ethan asked, breathless, forehead pressed against Mark’s. 

“I have a better idea.” 

With that, Mark stood up, holding Ethan close to him and carrying him towards their shared bedroom. Ethan’s legs wrapped themselves tightly around Mark’s hips and he trailed his lips along Mark’s shoulder as he carried him through the house. Before he even made it in the door, Mark pressed Ethan to the wall in the hallway and put a wet, open mouthed kiss just under his ear. The action earned a whine from Ethan. 

“You make me feel so special, Mark.” 

“You are, now let’s get in bed,” Mark smirked, gently letting Ethan’s legs down to the floor. 

Ethan scrambled into the bedroom, tugging the button of jeans open and shoving them down his legs before kicking them off. When he turned to look at Mark, he was completely naked. A flush crept up Ethan’s neck and blossomed on his cheeks. 

“Do you want me to take mine off too?” Ethan asked, referring to his boxers. 

“If you want to. I love the way you look,” Mark responded, looking over Ethan’s perfectly pale skin. 

Ethan hooked his thumbs into his boxers and pushed them down. Slightly embarrassed, Ethan looked away knowing Mark was looking at him, completely exposed.

“Don’t do that,” Mark whispered, nudging Ethan’s jaw back towards him. “You’re doing so good for me.” 

The praise sent a shiver down Ethan’s spine.

“It-I think it turns me on when you praise me like that,” Ethan mumbled, the embarrassment bubbling even more in his gut. He almost sounded like it was his first time. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mark assured him. “Now, can we keep making out because I was having a good time?” 

With a grin, Ethan crawled under the covers of their bed and Mark followed in suit. They laid on their sides facing each other. Ethan’s leg was hooked over Mark’s hip, their half hard cocks pressing together. They kissed lazily, their tongues gently licking together. They took turns sucking and biting at each other’s bottom lip. Mark’s hand was on Ethan’s hip, holding him close and Ethan’s hand was in Mark’s hair, tugging lightly. Occasionally Ethan would tighten his leg around Mark’s hip to increase pressure on their pelvises but never grinding. Mark would respond with a gentle brush of his thumb on Ethan’s hip bone as reassurance. As if saying “this is okay.”

They stayed that way for what seemed like hours, slowly growing tired. Eventually they pulled away from each other. Their bare bodies still pressed together, sharing each other’s warmth. The tables flipped this night as Mark rested himself on Ethan’s chest. Ethan gently carded his fingers through Mark’s hair and traced meaningless shapes on his back until they both dozed off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a milder case of the *virus,* but it still sucks because it hits you like a truck sometimes. I'm okay, though! Thank you all so much for the good wishes! I'll try to get around to responding to comments tomorrow
> 
> If you want to see anything, let me know. I'll try to incorporate it in! :)
> 
> [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed.
> 
> -TATC


	6. Day Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see anything drop a comment or send me a message on tumblr. I can try to incorporate it in!
> 
> [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed.
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> -TATC

Ethan groaned annoyed, feeling something pressing against his lower back, the sensation drawing him from his sleep before his alarm was set to go off. Mark’s arm was draped heavily over his torso, his palm resting against his stomach. Eyes still closed, Ethan realized that it was Mark’s erection pressing into his lower back. 

A flush blossomed on Ethan’s cheeks when he realized Mark had morning wood. Eyes fluttering open, Ethan also realized it was still dark outside. After a few minutes of debate, Ethan decided to move back, pressing himself against Mark. The motion caused Mark to stir, he nuzzled his nose into Ethan’s hair. 

“Mm, quit moving,” Mark mumbled, drowsiness still fogging his mind. 

“You-um, you’re hard, Mark,” Ethan whispered, embarrassment evident in his voice. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark sounded more awake now, moving his hips back slightly so he was no longer pressed against Ethan’s bare body. 

“It’s okay. Did-If, If you want can we take care of it?” Ethan asked quickly, afraid Mark wouldn’t be okay with it. 

The question caused Mark’s heart rate to speed up, nervous to do something that sexual with Ethan. He wanted to. Mark wanted to experience that with Ethan. He willed himself to push his nerves away before he spoke again. 

“Do you want to?”

“Yes,” Ethan replied embarrassingly quickly. “Yes, I-I want to make you come.” Ethan’s voice was hushed at the end.

Mark grinned slightly to himself before guiding Ethan to roll onto his other side to face him. Mark’s heart was thrumming rapidly in his chest as he trailed the tips of his fingers along Ethan’s cheek bone. His fingers made their way down to his jaw, along Ethan’s neck and down along his toned arm. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” Ethan asked, reaching up to cup Mark’s jaw. “I know this isn’t easy.”

Ethan was right, this wasn’t easy for Mark. Mark was always scared of his partners after  _ her.  _ He was always wary they were only using him for his body, for who he is on the internet. But not Ethan. He knew Ethan wasn’t that malicious and selfish, it was just his own trauma response that never really left. 

“I want you to make me come and I want to make you come. If you’ll let me that is,” Mark spoke softly, his words like honey as he spoke and trailed his fingers lower on Ethan’s body, tracing over his outer thigh, dangerously close to the curve of his ass. 

With no more words to exchange, Ethan leant forward, capturing Mark in a gentle kiss. Neither cared that the other hadn’t brushed their teeth that morning yet. Mark’s warm hand found a home on Ethan’s bare ass. They carefully moved their lips together as Mark gently kneaded Ethan’s ass 

Ethan groaned into Mark’s mouth at the action. The sensation of Mark’s hand moving in slow, firm circles sent a wave of heat down Ethan’s body. Mark’s hand moved down to the back of Ethan’s thigh and then gently into the back of the knee, drawing his leg over his hip, pressing his hard cock into Ethan’s semi. 

“Fuck,” Mark groaned, pulling his face away from Ethan’s mouth. 

Ethan couldn’t help himself, he pressed kisses to Mark’s shoulder and neck when he broke the kiss. He loved the taste of Mark on his tongue, the way his body would react to his touch. The soft groans that left Mark’s mouth fueled Ethan to keep pressing kisses to every inch of his body he could reach. 

“You’re so perfect, baby boy,” Mark groaned, rocking his hips into Ethan’s. 

Ethan wrapped his arms around Mark’s shoulders after pulling his face up from the crook of his shoulder, clinging to him. Soft little “ah, ah, ah’s” left Ethan’s lips, soft puffs of air brushing against Mark’s neck. 

“It’s so good,” Ethan mumbled, meeting Mark’s hips half way, adding to the pressure. Ethan had quickly come to full mast just minutes into Mark’s hips grinding into his. Their hard cocks rubbing together, pre-come had smeared between them. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” Mark said through gritted teeth, his hand coming back to Ethan’s ass and grabbing a handful roughly. 

“ _ Mark _ ,” Ethan whined high in his throat, grinding himself harder into Mark, chasing the pleasure he was feeling. He was already so close, not having had an orgasm brought by another person in well over a year and a half.

“What is it baby?” Mark asked, his voice deep and airy in Ethan’s ear. 

“I-I wanna come,” Ethan whined, his head thrown back, exposing the pale, soft skin of his neck. 

“Come for me then,” Mark mumbled into Ethan’s exposed neck.

Mark began to lick at Ethan’s Adam's apple and pressed sucking kisses into his throat. Ethan’s body convulsed and trembled in Mark’s hold. Mark could pick him like a lock and they had never even had sex.

“More, more,” Ethan mumbled, rolling his head to the side, hoping Mark would take the hint. 

Luckily, Mark knew just what Ethan wanted. He drew Ethan to his body harder, grinding their hips faster. Leaning forward, Mark drug his teeth against Ethan’s exposed neck, enjoying the shiver that ran down Ethan’s body. 

“Bite-Bite me please,” Ethan whimpered, digging his face into the pillow, embarrassed. 

“Do you like it a little rough, baby boy?” Mark whispered, not waiting for an answer before biting into the meat of Ethan’s shoulder. 

“God, fuck- _ Mark! _ ”

The action set Ethan off the edge, an orgasm ripping through his body. His legs quivered and his breath caught in his throat. Mark continued to grind himself against Ethan’s pulsing and twitching cock, helping him through his orgasm. Ethan’s cum smeared between their stomach’s as he came down from his orgasm.

“Is it okay if I still keep going?” Mark asked through heavy breaths, continuing the movement of his hips. He could feel Ethan softening against him. 

Ethan nodded quickly, tears slightly pricking the corners of his eyes at the over stimulation. “Keep going, I want to be the reason why you come,” Ethan’s voice was airy and tired.

“Your body is so perfect, Ethan,” Mark whispered, his orgasm quickly approaching. He moved his hips haphazardly no rhythm, no rhyme to the motions. 

“Come for me, Mark,” Ethan whispered, encouraging him, pressing himself to Mark as he ground against him. 

Mark clung to Ethan as his orgasm came through him in gentle waves. The pleasure washed over him, warming his whole body. Thick spurts of cum mixed with Ethan’s on their stomachs. Just as Mark had caught his breath, Ethan’s alarm rang through their bedroom. 

“Nooo, I’m tired,” Ethan groaned, separating himself momentarily from Mark to turn the alarm off. 

“We have to get cleaned up for the stream baby,” Mark instructed, bringing Ethan’s body back against his own. 

They shared a few chaste kisses before getting up and jumping in the shower separately. Once they were cleaned up and a bellies full of breakfast, they were setting up their Just Chatting stream. Settling into their respective chairs, their knees bumping together, Mark started the stream, the chat quickly flooding with questions.

They answered a few basic questions, like that they do together in their home. What they eat, how they spend their days not getting sick of each other. Mark had a happy glint to his eyes as he spoke about how he could never get tired of Ethan and how much he loved waking up next to him everyday. 

“How did you come out?” Ethan mumbled to himself as the question zipped by on the screen. 

“Um, I just told my parents that I’m gay when I was in high school,” Ethan answered sheepishly, realizing he had to answer the question now that he read it outloud. “They took it really well, it was just..others who didn't. I was really nervous though, I think I just told them over dinner or something.” 

He chose not to elaborate on that in front of thousands of people. He didn’t want to air his trauma out into the Internet that someone who he used to consider a friend had taken advantage of him. Mark sensed Ethan’s discomfort, sliding a hand on Ethan’s knee to try to settle his nerves.

“I’ve just always dated who I wanted to date,” Mark spoke up, hoping to draw attention away from Ethan. “I’ve had girlfriends and boyfriends. My mom has never really cared.”

Ethan grinned at Mark, grateful for the change of pace and tone of the stream to a much lighter one. They continued answering questions, steering away from anything they considered too personal. They shared a couple of sweet kisses on camera, effectively driving the chat wild. 

When they signed off, they decided to spend the rest of their day on the couch watching movies. They were facing opposite ways on the couch, their legs tangled together. Mark was eating a pint of chocolate ice cream and Ethan was eating his own pint of cookie dough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see anything drop a comment or send me a message on tumblr. I can try to incorporate it in!
> 
> [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)


	7. Day Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this is all over the place. The brain fog is starting to settle in.
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed.
> 
> -TATC

Mark and Ethan had been working hard on this Wednesday. Mark had been busy in meetings all morning and Ethan had woken up at four in the morning, suddenly struck with the motivation to draw and paint. It wasn’t unusual for Ethan to want to make his work at random times of the day. 

As Mark was holed up in his office, likely tired of talking with his manager and potential sponsors, Ethan was in his office/studio staring down a large piece of paper. He had just finished a painting of their backyard and now felt the need to draw Mark. He loved to draw him and he had before, but this time he wanted to challenge himself by drawing him from memory. Ethan typically drew him from a photo or from life, but he hardly ever drew him from memory despite seeing him everyday. 

The gentle scraping of charcoal was the only sound that could be heard in Ethan’s studio. Carefully drawing and sculpting Mark on the paper, occasionally taking steps back from the image to look it over and see how Mark’s image is manifesting on the paper. After a few hours of drawing, Ethan stepped back with tense shoulders from hunching over the image and hands black, covered in charcoal dust. He was satisfied that the figure drawn on his paper looked exactly like Mark. 

As quietly as possible, Ethan padded across the hall to the guest bathroom to wash his hands. A satisfied feeling washed over him as he watched the charcoal wash away, revealing his pale skin again. His mind felt a little cloudy, as if he was just going through the motions. Ethan attributed it to just being in post art making daze.

Ethan jumped as he heard a loud thud, followed by an annoyed groan from Mark. After quickly drying off his hands, Ethan made his way down the hall to Mark’s office. 

“Mark?” Ethan asked quietly, pushing the door open just a few inches. “Is everything okay?”

“Come in,” Mark’s exasperated voice called back to Ethan. 

Slowly, he entered the room, a little afraid as to why Mark was frustrated. 

“I lost some audio,” Mark mumbled once Ethan was completely in his line of sight

“I’m sorry,” Ethan sympathized with him. He’s lost plenty of audio in the past and it’s never any less frustrating. 

He walked up behind Mark, running his hands along his tense shoulders. As he pressed his thumbs into the tense muscles, Mark let out a low groan of relief, rolling his head back against the gaming chair. Ethan pressed a kiss to Mark’s forehead, continuing to massage his tense muscles. 

“That feels good,” Mark muttered.

“Good,” Ethan whispered quietly, nuzzling his nose into Mark’s hair. He loved the smell of his shampoo. He loved everything about Mark. Slowly, he nosed his way down behind Mark’s ear and along his neck, just breathing him in. 

“Hey, I have something else in mind,” Mark announced, spinning around in his chair and pulling Ethan into his lap, his back to Mark’s firm chest. 

“And what’s that?” Ethan asked between giggles, draping his hands over Mark’s where they lay on his sides. 

“I think,” Mark whispered, taking his turn to nose at Ethan’s exposed neck. “We should kiss, maybe try something more?” 

“Oh really?” 

“Mm, really.” 

One of Mark’s hands slowly trailed down Ethan’s body and found a home on his hip, the other hand drawing up his slender arm and up to his shoulder. Ethan tried his best to relax to the touch, feeling Mark’s lips accompanied with the sensation of his hands trailing over his body. A warm hand made its way up to the back of his neck, brushing over the scar on the small bump of his neck where his poor posture was made evident. 

Ethan froze, the memory of how he received that scar coming back to him. 

_ “Eeethannn, come here, sugar,” his venomous voice rang through the small studio apartment, words slightly slurred.  _

_ “Dennis, I can’t,” Ethan replied back, trying to keep his tone neutral. He was in the middle of editing a video for his channel.  _

_ “Get up,” he spat.  _

_ Ethan remembered the way Dennis’ eyes turned to flames, anger burning red hot. He remembered the way he grabbed Ethan’s wrists, pulling him up from the chair at the kitchen table. He remembered the way Dennis threw him at the wall, the blunt head of the nail digging into the back of his neck. He remembered the way he begged him to stop. When he told him it hurt he said ‘good, you deserve this for hurting me.’ _

_ He remembered the way he pressed him harder to the wall, dragging him to the left and right, left and right, until he gave in. Until he finally said yes to whatever he wanted.  _

Ethan’s mind was hazy, the memory lingering as he felt Mark press a gentle kiss to the scar.

_ Do what he wants. Do what he wants.  _

Ethan stood up from where he sat on Mark’s thighs, turning to face his boyfriend. He had a soft grin on his face, gazing up at Ethan. Ethan felt like he was going through molasses, every movement he made felt heavy and difficult, as if he was weighed down. 

“Ethan?” 

Mark’s voice was filled with worry, he noticed the clouded look in his love’s eyes. Worry was not what Ethan heard in Mark’s voice. He heard annoyance, demand. He wasn’t complying quickly enough.

_ Do what he wants.  _

Ethan dropped to his knees in front of Mark and bowed his head, waiting. This was what Mark wanted wasn’t it? For Ethan to know when he was expected to perform, to be conditioned at the drop of a dime. 

“Ethan, what are you doing?” 

Mark reached down and tilted Ethan’s chin up so he could look at him. His eyes were glazed over, looking beyond him.

“Take what you want,” He mumbled, hardly sounding present in his own mind. 

“Do you even want to right now?” Mark sounded angry to him. 

And Mark was angry, but not at Ethan. Not at his actions, but at his past. At his previous boyfriend who conditioned him to act this way, to submit himself even when he wasn’t willing. 

“It’s not about me,” His words were slurred, his body swaying slightly. 

He was spiralling.

“Do you want to?” 

With eyes clenched shut, bracing for an impact or harsh words, Ethan weakly whispered, “no.”

With a heavy sigh, Mark got out from the chair and bent down, scooping his boyfriend off the floor. Ethan clung to him pathetically, silent tears streaming down his face. 

“Why are you crying?” Mark asked softly, brushing away the tears from his boyfriend’s face as he settled onto the floor, holding Ethan close to his body. 

“You’re gonna punish me,” he whimpered, hiccuping afterwards. 

“Ethan,” Mark said firmly, gripping his chin. “I would  _ never _ punish you for not wanting to do something with me.” 

Ethan dug his face into Mark’s shirt, silent sobs wracking his body. His thin frame trembled and quaked in Mark’s hold. Rubbing his hands along Ethan’s back, Mark tried his best to soothe him. Ethan’s mind was still hazy, trying to dissect his own thought process. He felt embarrassed, his trauma response getting the best of him. 

“You’re okay, baby boy,” Mark whispered, gently rocking Ethan back and forth. 

After about ten minutes, Mark tried to move Ethan off of him so he could stand up. The action resulted in a cry of fear from Ethan, not wanting Mark to let go. 

“We need to get up. I wanna help you get in the shower,” Mark murmured, trying to pry Ethan’s bony fingers from his biceps.

“I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want to shower,” He mumbled, feeling tired and anxious. 

“Why don’t you want to shower? It’ll help you feel better. It’ll help your mind relax, Eth.” 

“I’m too tired to stand,” he muttered, a blush blossoming on his cheeks. 

“Do you want to take a bath together? How does that sound?” 

Ethan nodded and allowed Mark to let go of him for a moment just so he could stand. He helped Ethan to his feet, his knees trembling under his weight. They slowly walked to their shared bathroom and quietly undressed. Mark did most of the heavy lifting, undressing himself before carefully undressing Ethan, talking him through all of his actions to avoid his thoughts from delving deeper into the dark corners of his mind. 

Mark ran the warm water as he helped Ethan out of his clothes. He filled the water with bubbles and bath salts, hoping the combination would be enough to relax his love. Just as Mark was about to help lower Ethan into the large tub, Ethan held a hand up, signalling for him to wait.

Ethan lurched toward the toilet, hunching over it, his knees making an awful  _ crack _ against the tile. He gagged, once, twice- before spilling the contents of his meager breakfast into the toilet. Mark ran a warm hand over his back, soothing him through it. 

“You okay?” He asked when Ethan reached up to flush the toilet. 

“I just- I felt him on my skin,” He responded quietly.

“Well, let’s get in the bath and we can wash him off your skin.” 

Mark helped Ethan back up to his feet, slowly guiding him to the tub and down into the warm water. Keeping a hand on Ethan’s shoulder, Mark climbed in behind him, holding Ethan’s body close to him. 

“How are you doing it?” Ethan asked as Mark began to gently wash his skin with a washcloth.

“Doing what?”

“Managing. I know-I know your relationship with sex isn’t normal, but how do you not let it get to you?” Ethan’s voice was weak, wavering with tears threatening to fall. 

“You just get used to it at some point. It’s always going to be part of you. I’ll be here with you baby boy. And I’m sorry for triggering you by kissing the scar.”

“You didn’t know,” Ethan assured in a hushed tone. 

Mark continued to wash Ethan, gently rubbing his tense muscles just as he had done for him not that long ago. Ethan relaxed into the touch, purring softly as Mark found a particularly tense muscle. They stayed in the bath water until it ran cold. When it was time to get out, Mark helped Ethan dress and settled him into the bed. Ethan quickly fell asleep, the emotional exhaustion taking over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)


	8. Day Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a lot better today!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Ethan’s alarms were never turned on for the next day, instead Mark chose to wake him up in the gentlest way he knew how, playing with his hair. Slowly and gently, he ran his fingers through Ethan’s brown curls, lightly scratching his nails against his scalp just the way he knew Ethan liked. 

“You’re so gorgeous, Ethan,” Mark murmured, Ethan still fast asleep. “You didn’t deserve anything that happened to you.” 

He watched intently as Ethan’s body rose and fell with each heavy breath he took. 

“I love you,” Mark whispered before pressing a tender kiss to the tip of Ethan’s nose. 

The action caused Ethan to stir, his nose scrunching up as his sleep was disturbed. 

“Mmm,” he groaned, rolling onto his back. 

With fluttering eyelids, Ethan’s arm reached out to feel the bed for Mark’s body. It was something he did almost everyday to make sure he hadn’t left in the middle of the night. Mark pressed his hand into Ethan’s out reaching grasp, smiling softly to himself as he felt Ethan’s hand lightly squeeze his fingers. 

“Good morning, baby,” Mark whispered, squeezing back. 

“Hi,” Ethan’s voice was raspy with sleep, his eyes were still closed, sleep keeping them shut. 

Slowly and hesitantly, Mark drew himself close to Ethan’s body, just wanting to be close to him. He always hated seeing how affected he could get by the past. He just wanted to be able to comfort him, luckily Ethan was receptive to Mark, wanting to be just as close to him. 

Mark cuddled his face into the joint of Ethan’s shoulder where it met his neck. In response, Ethan nuzzled his nose into Mark’s hair. It felt soft and smelled good under his nose. With drowsy movements, Ethan tried his best to hold onto Mark’s shoulder, trying to pull him on top of his body, wanting to feel his weight. 

“I’m right here,” Mark assured, trailing his fingertips down Ethan’s side. 

Ethan giggled softly as Mark’s fingertips sent tickles down his side. 

“Up,” Ethan asked, pulling at his arm again. 

Finally giving in, Mark draped his body over Ethan’s, carefully slotting their legs together. Sighing happily, Ethan draps heavy arms over Mark’s shoulders. Mark loved it when Ethan got like this, needy and wanting cuddles at every moment. 

“I love it when you get like this,” Mark voiced, willing his body to relax so he could be as close to Ethan as possible. 

“I love it when we cuddle,” Ethan murmured, voice still deep and drowsy with sleep. “It’s just hard.”

“I know,” Mark whispered, stroking Ethan’s bicep, savoring how soft his skin felt beneath his fingertips. 

“Did I ever tell you  _ he _ left  _ me _ ?” 

Ethan spoke without even missing a beat, despite his mind still being filled with sleep. It caught Mark off guard. 

“No, you didn't.” 

“He left because I didn’t give him actual sex.” 

Mark tilted his head up to look up at Ethan. His eyes were still closed, dark eyelashes resting on his cheekbones. 

“You didn’t have sex?” Mark asked without thinking. This entire time he thought they had. 

“I’ve never had penetrative sex,” Ethan clarified, shaking his head in response. 

Mark was floored by the revelation and also slightly grateful. He was grateful that Ethan’s sorry excuse for an ex-boyfriend didn’t ruin that part of sex for him. Mark was grateful to be his first. 

“Mark?”

“What? Sorry.” 

“You were quiet. I-I’m sorry I never told you, I was kind of embarrassed. To be twenty four an-”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Mark assured his boyfriend. “I’m glad he never ruined that for you.” 

“You’re not bothered that I’m a virgin?” 

Mark sat up on his knees, one knee between Ethan’s legs and the other next to Ethan’s outer thigh, slightly straddling his thigh. He braced himself on one hand by Ethan’s head and gently cupped his jaw with his other hand. Ethan finally opened his eyes, gazing up at Mark with still slightly hazy vision.

“Absolutely not. Your first time having sex should be with someone who loves you and cares about you. And it should be with someone you want to have it with. He had no right guilting you,” Mark’s words were firm and gentle, reassuring Ethan that he was normal and had nothing to be embarrassed about. 

“I want to have it with you by the end of the fourteen days, Mark.”

Ethan’s voice was small and timid. Almost embarrassed to admit that he wanted Mark to have sex with him. He felt shy admitting to himself that he wanted to feel Mark inside him. 

“Don’t say that because you think it’s what I want to hear, if we get there we get there. I want to get there, but I don’t want to push either of us.”

Mark gazed into Ethan’s eyes as he spoke, hoping Ethan understood he wanted him to be comfortable. 

“I want to, I keep thinking about what it would be like,” Ethan blushed, looking away from Mark towering over him. 

“Do you wanna tell me about it, baby boy?” Mark asked quietly, stroking his thumb over Ethan’s pink cheek.

“Do you want me to tell you? I don’t want you to be grossed out.”

Mark thought it over for a moment. He was quickly realizing that the sexual actions didn’t bother him, it was the people who wanted to have sex with him he was uncomfortable with. 

“Ethan, I’m so comfortable with you. I want to hear what you want me to do to you.” 

Ethan squirmed at Mark’s words. 

“I want to feel you fill me up,” Ethan whispered, reaching up to bring Mark’s head down so their foreheads were pressed together. “I can’t wait for you to lick my cock and to lick yours.” 

Mark groaned softly, resting his full weight down onto Ethan’s thigh. He knew that Ethan could undoubtedly feel his growing erection through his boxers against his leg. 

“You want me to top you?” Mark asked breathlessly.

“Yea, I think you’d be good at it,” Ethan husked back, trailing his hand down Mark’s torso, fingertips grazing his toned abs and down to the front of his boxers. 

“Can I?” Ethan asked, gently thumbing the waistband of Mark’s underwear. 

“Only if you want to.”

“Do you want me to?” 

“Yes,” Mark whispered, closing his eyes out of pure embarrassment. 

“I’ve thought about this, too,” Ethan said quietly as he reached his hand into Mark’s boxers, feeling his hard erection. “I’ve thought about how you’d feel in my hand and you feel just as hard and perfect as I thought you would.   
  


Mark groaned, not only at the sensation, but at Ethan’s words. How could someone so shy and innocent looking have such dirty thoughts running through his mind? As Ethan began to stroke Mark firmly and quickly, he dropped his shoulder down against his shoulder. 

“I love that I do this to you,” Ethan murmured into Mark’s ear, grinning as Mark gently rocked his hips into his hand. 

“You’re so perfect, Ethan,” Mark mumbled, the heat in his stomach building too quickly. 

“I have this fantasy,” Ethan began. Mark swallowed thickly before he continued. “That you’ll fuck me on all fours, my ass up and your hand in my hair holding me down. So, so slowly that you use me. “

“Fuck, baby, I’m close,” Mark nearly  _ whimpered _ , succumbing to Ethan’s touch. 

“I want you to come, Mark.”

“I want to-  _ Baby _ ,” Mark groaned, rocking his hips faster into Ethan’s hand, smearing pre-come over Ethan’s fingers more than it already had, allowing him to move easier. 

“I love you, Mark,” Ethan whispered, increasing the speed of his hand.

“I love you, to- _ oo,” _ Mark’s orgasm tore through him just as he was declaring his love for his boyfriend.

The warm blissfulness washed over him, Ethan continuing to stroke him through his orgasm. He soothed Mark by pressing kisses to the side of his face as his hips stuttered and his hot breath fanning over his shoulder. Hot come splattered over his hand and onto his own boxers. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Mark muttered, looking down at his mess on Ethan once his orgasm ebbed away. 

“Don’t be, you’re sexy,” Ethan murmured, kissing Mark’s lips gently. 

“Do you want me to-”

“No,” Ethan cut him off, “I’m not ready for that today. Tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Mark whispered, pressing a kiss to the tip of Ethan’s nose. 

They gently cleaned each other off with some tissues on their bedside table. Silently, they each got dressed, stealing glances at each other. They went through their normal days, recording and editing, occasionally seeing each other. 

A blush would bloom across Ethan’s cheeks like a shy school boy each time he saw Mark in the house. He was behaving as though it was his first time having any experience with another man. And in a way it was, it was the first positive experience he’s had with another man in a long time. 

In the evening after dinner, Ethan wrapped his arms around Mark’s torso from behind, nuzzling his nose into Mark’s spine. 

“Thank you for never making me feel weird about my past,” Ethan mumbled. 

Mark turned in his arms to face Ethan. He gazed down lovingly at him before responding. 

“You’re the one I should be thanking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -TATC


	9. Day Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Ethan felt anxious after giving Mark a handjob. He didn’t necessarily regret or even feel like Mark pushed him into it, but he felt..antsy in a way that he didn’t know how to describe. He enjoyed the experience and he wanted to continue to be able to bring Mark the pleasure he deserved. He wanted to continue being the reason why Mark was brought to pure ecstasy. He loved that Mark was comfortable enough to feel that way around Ethan. To allow himself to be so vulnerable. 

After they had both settled into bed yesterday evening, they talked about it. They talked about how they enjoyed the experience. Ethan tried his best to articulate that he wasn’t regretting the event, just felt almost dirty afterwards. He made sure to tell Mark just how much he enjoyed himself, how much he enjoyed watching him come. Mark did just the same, telling Ethan how much he loved hearing Ethan’s fantasies for them. 

Ethan blushed deeply when Mark told him how much he loved to hear him talk about what he thought about. Truth be told, Ethan had some kinkier fantasies in his mind that he was embarrassed about. He thought they made him gross considering his past. He didn’t know if he’d always had those desires, or if they stemmed from what happened. 

Now it being the next day, Mark found himself wanting to pleasure Ethan just as Ethan had brought pleasure unto him. He wanted to hear more of what Ethan had to say. About what he wanted and what he thought he might like. Mark wanted to be the person to help Ethan discover those things in a positive way, not in a way that felt forced.

Mark took some time away from recording late in the afternoon to set up their bedroom. He carefully arranged and fluffed the pillows up on the bed along with the blankets in a way that the bed resembled somewhat of a nest. Mark wanted to make sure that Ethan was as comfortable as possible. A few fruit scented candles were lit and the curtains drawn to shield out the late afternoon sun. In their talks the day before, Mark and Ethan had agreed Mark would set up and kind of ‘lead’ today. 

Mark was more than okay with this. They both knew that out of the both of them, Mark had a better handle on his past and could hopefully bring Ethan into a comfortable space to help him talk about what he is looking for and hopefully bring him some pleasure. 

Once Mark was satisfied with the way the room was set up, he went in search of Ethan. After searching the house for fifteen minutes, he found Ethan sitting in his nook of the house, his knees drawn up to his chest. His sketchbook was sitting at his feet as he was flipping through a poetry book for some inspiration. 

“Are you ready?” Mark asked, leaning against the doorframe to the room where the nook was nestled into. 

Ethan looked up, his eyes wide from being drawn away from his focus.

“Uh-, Yea, I am,” he replied, dropping a pencil into the poetry book so he could keep his place. 

Ethan moved to get up, but Mark quickly stode over to him. 

“Let me carry you.”

Without words, Ethan just outstretched his arms to his boyfriend. Mark bent down and allowed Ethan to hook his arms around his shoulders before scooping him up. Before beginning to walk toward their bedroom, Mark peppered kisses along Ethan’s neck and jaw, hopefully warming him up just a little. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” Mark mumbled into Ethan’s soft skin before slowly making his way to their bedroom. 

“Thank you,” Ethan blushed, digging his face into Mark’s shoulder. 

Once they reached the bedroom, Mark dropped Ethan onto the bed, his body landing with a soft bounce. Ethan scrambled back so that he was propped up on the pillows and stared up at Mark. 

“I think,” Mark started, climbing onto the bed, “We should talk about what you want and what you like.” He hovered over Ethan, cupping his jaw and dragging his thumb along his bottom lip. Ethan’s cheeks flushed, glancing away from Mark.

“Only what you’re comfortable with,” Mark reminded Ethan as he watched his boyfriend's mouth open and close, looking for the right words. 

“I always think about it a little rougher,” Ethan whispered, embarrassed. “But I don’t know if I’d want to because of...yea.” 

“What else, baby boy?” Mark’s lips were grazing against Ethan’s as he spoke, teasing his lightly. 

“When you say that, I love it,” Ethan’s voice was timid, and quiet. 

“Baby boy?” Mark clarified. 

Ethan nodded, closing his eyes. 

“I think mirror sex could be sexy,” Ethan mumbled, squirming slightly under Mark, feeling himself getting hard. 

“Oh yeah?” 

Mark drug his hand down Ethan’s chest from his jaw, trailing along his lower stomach. He rubbed at the fabric of the hem of Ethan’s sweatshirt.

“Can I?” 

Ethan couldn’t form words, he just nodded in response. Mark’s warm hand slipped under Ethan’s sweatshirt, running along the soft, warm skin just above his sweatpants. 

“I think about what your face would look like when we have sex.” 

“Do you like this?” Mark husked, slipping his hand past Ethan’s pants and into his boxers, cupping his hard length. 

“Yes,” He groaned in response.

“This?” Mark reached down lower, cupping Ethan’s balls gently, carefully massaging them. The action earned a high gasp from Ethan’s lips, back arching. Mark drew his hand back up, gripping Ethan’s erection firmly, thumbing at his slit to smear his pre-come. Mark began to stroke Ethan in slow, firm strokes. 

“That’s good,” Ethan breathed, reaching down to push his pants to his mid thigh. 

“Look at me, “ Mark whispered. Ethan’s eyes fluttered open, he hadn’t even realized he closed them. He stared up into Mark’s chocolate brown eyes. “In a couple of days, do you think you’d want to try a plug?”

“F-Fuck,” Ethan groaned, pushing himself into Mark’s hand. 

“Do you?” Mark whispered against Ethan’s jaw before peppering wet kisses against his jawline. “I think it could make it easier if we choose to have sex later on.” 

“Will-Will you finger me first?” 

Ethan was breathless, Mark’s hand picking up speed after he asks the question as if it turns him on as well. As if he also finds the thought of fingering Ethan arousing. 

“I’d love to if that’s what you want.” 

“I want you to go faster,” Ethan whined, grinding his hips up. 

Mark complied, moving his hand faster on Ethan’s leaking cock. He thumbed at his slit and relished in how Ethan’s back arched up off the bed. 

“I’ve never felt this good, Mark,” he whined. 

Mark groaned at Ethan’s words. He felt so honored to have brought Ethan these feelings. To be bringing Ethan the pleasure he deserved in a comfortable way. 

“You’re gonna make me come,  _ Mark _ ,” Ethan tangled his fingers in his own hair, not knowing where to put them. The pleasure consumed him, tears pricking his eyes as his hips quivered. 

“Come for me, Ethan,” Mark tangled his fingers in Ethan’s hair, tugging lightly.

The sensation of his hair being pulled set Ethan off. His back arched and a choked grone left his throat as come coated his sweatshirt and Mark’s hand. Mark gazed down at Ethan as his eyes rolled back slightly, his mouth hanging open with pleasure. He gently stroked him through it until Ethan was pushing his hand away. 

Mark reached across the bed to the nightstand for a few tissues, cleaning his hand off along with Ethan’s lower stomach. He helped his boyfriend pull off his soiled sweatshirt and toss it onto the floor. Mark nuzzled in next to Ethan, tugging him close, stroking his hair to soothe him. Ethan’s body was tense, worrying Mark. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I feel guilty, like I don’t deserve to enjoy sex,” Ethan mumbled, nuzzling his face int othe crook of Mark’s shoulder. 

“You absolutely deserve to enjoy sexual things if you want to, baby,” Mark soothed, rubbing his warm hands over Ethan’s back. 

“Were you serious about the plug?” Ethan’s voice was hopeful. 

“If you want to,” Mark whispered, coaxing Ethan’s head up from his shoulder so he could look at him. 

“I want to. In a couple days maybe? I think it’ll be too much at the same time if we do oral tomorrow.” 

“If and when you want, baby boy,” Mark assured, capturing Ethan in a gentle kiss.

They lazily kissed, lying there together in their shared bed surrounded by fluffy pillows and blankets. Their tongues gently rubbed together, hands lightly roaming each other’s bodies. They tugged at each other’s lips with their teeth, taking turns. Ethan’s hand trailed down Mark’s back, reaching the curve of his ass before drawing forward, cupping his evident bulge. Slowly and passionately, Ethan returned the favor, more than willing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -TATC


	10. Day Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've found out that I can leave isolation so it may be a couple of days before I update again so I can get settled into the real world again. 
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Ethan knew he had told Mark that he would wait a couple of days for the plug, but he couldn’t help himself. While Mark was busy in his office recording, he snuck out into the world in search of an inconspicuous sex shop. He found himself in front of a wall filled with various sex toys. After a quick glance over, Ethan’s eyes landed on a basic, black butt plug with a heart shaped base. His face flushed pink as he slid it off of the rack and made his way to the store’s selection of lube. Ethan chose a silicone based, clear lube. Quickly Ethan walked to the checkout counter to make his way home for his self discovery session

“Twenty five even,” The cashier spoke. 

His voice turned Ethan’s blood ice cold, his knees locking up. It was at that moment Ethan was grateful for the pandemic and the requirement of facemasks. He knew it was him checking him out. Ethan looked anywhere but at the man’s face, not needing a visual confirmation.  
“Have a good day,” He said, pushing the black plastic bag over the counter. “Ethan.” 

Ethan could see his hands trembling as he snatched the bag. 

“Th-Thank you,” He mumbled out, turning on his heel.

“I recognize that ass anywhere,” his voice was venomous, dripping with the same faux charm as always. 

Ethan swallowed around the thick lump in his throat, making a bee line for his car. He threw himself into the driver seat and locked the doors. Ethan’s rapid heartbeat was thumping loudly in his ears drowning out the bustling LA traffic around him. 

“Drive, Ethan drive,” he told himself breathlessly, trying desperately to even out his breathing. 

He started his car, throwing it into drive and racing towards his house. He had a death grip on his steering wheel, knuckles turning a greyish color. Ethan’s mind was swirling, terrible memories flooding his mind. Bile was bubbling in the back of his throat and he desperately tried to swallow it down, willing himself to make it to his house. His heart rate didn’t slow down until he was driving down his street, seeing his house at the end of the cul-de-sac. 

Relief flooded him as he pulled into his driveway. He could see Spencer in the front window bouncing on his paws as he saw Ethan’s car pull into the driveway. Ethan flung his car door open, nearly hitting Mark’s as he tried to get out of the driveway and into the safety of his home. Ethan wanted nothing more than to get the ghost feeling of his hands off his skin. He wanted Mark. He wanted to see and feel Mark. He rushed through the door in search of his comfort, in search of his boyfriend. He wanted him. Wanted to feel him. The door slammed behind him, rattling the house. 

“Ethan?” Mark asked, emerging from the hallway, startled by the door slamming. 

Ethan whipped his head around to look at his boyfriend as he tore his mask off his face. Ethan had a wild look in his eyes, his hair was messy and his appearance filled Mark with worry. Lunging at Mark, Ethan attached himself to Mark, clinging to him. Immediately Mark caught him, cupping the back of his thighs as Ethan attached his lips to his. Tears were freely streaming down Ethan’s cheeks, his eyes slightly puffy. 

“Ethan, wait,” Mark breathed, pulling his face away from Ethan’s. He didn’t understand why Ethan was so upset. 

“No, kiss me,” Ethan reached up for him again, trusting Mark to support his weight. 

“No, Ethan-” 

Ethan didn’t want to listen, he wanted to continue kissing Mark and he did. He reattached his lips to Mark’s, tangling his fingers into the hair on the nape of his boyfriend’s neck. The action startled Mark, not taking his boyfriend to be someone who doesn’t listen to their partner’s needs. The action sent Mark’s mind reeling, suddenly afraid of what his boyfriend was doing. 

Mark was suddenly drawn from his thoughts when he heard a thud. He looked down to find Ethan on his ass, looking up at him. 

He’d dropped him. 

“What the fuck?”

“Why did you keep going?” Mark’s voice was airy, strained. 

“I wanted to keep kissing you. I need-”

“I said wait!”

Ethan flinched, a hiccup breaking through his throat. He picked himself up off the floor with trembling legs.

“I’m sorry,” He apologized in a whisper. 

Ethan slowly walked to the bathroom, Mark just watching him walk away. Mark was trying to gather his bearings, trying to figure out what was going on. Mark noticed the small plastic bag that was on the floor, the bottle of lube hanging out of the opening. He knelt down dumping the rest of the contents, biting his lip lightly as he realized what he had found. 

“Did he want to do this today?” He whispered to himself. 

Mark stood back up and took a deep breath. He tried to get himself together, organizing his thoughts and what he would say to Ethan. He could hear Ethan’s cries from down the hall. Following the sound, Mark was led to the guest bathroom, the door was wide open. Ethan was heaving into the toilet, sobs tore through his body and he was visibly shaking.

“Hey,” Mark knelt down, rubbing a hand over Ethan’s back to soothe him. “Take your time, I’m right here.”

“Don’t-comfort me, I don’t deserve it,” Ethan hiccupped, trying to swat Mark’s hand away. 

“Stop, just let me. I know something must have happened, you were upset,” Mark instructed gently. 

Ethan just let him rub his back and whisper comforting words into his ear until his hiccups died down. 

“Are you okay?”

“N-no, I think I’m gonna throw up,” Ethan whimpered. 

Mark reached in front of Ethan and held the hair back from his forehead. Ethan’s body lurched forward, his body easily releasing all the water and coffee he had in his body. Once Ethan was finished he reached up and flushed the toilet, letting hark pull his body up afterwards. Mark helped him to the sink so he could rinse his mouth out 

“Tell me what all of that was,” Mark requested, helping Ethan to sit on the lid of the toilet, kneeling in front of him. 

Ethan took a deep breath before answering, “I saw him.” 

Angry heat flashed through Mark’s body. That’s why his love was so upset. 

“I wanted to try the plug, I was excited. So I went out to get one and he was the cashier,” Ethan’s voice was quiet and raspy, tears gathering in his eyes. “I saw him and he talked to me. He knew it was me, even with the mask on. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you or let myself hear you. I wanted the comfort, I wanted you to make me feel good.” Ethan’s bottom lip was quivering as he spoke, tears threatening to fall and his voice wavering. 

Mark laced his fingers with Ethan’s before speaking. “I’m sorry I dropped you. I just..I got scared.” 

“Don’t apologize, I didn’t listen. I’m so sorry.” 

Ethan leant down to press his forehead against Mark’s wanting to just feel close to him again. 

“It wasn’t okay, but just please listen to me next time. Do you still want me to help you feel better?”

Ethan sat up, surprised. He didn’t think Mark would still want to. 

“I’m sick of feeling his hands on my skin,” Ethan admitted. “ But you don’t need to. I made you uncomfortable.”

“No, I didn’t understand.”

“Mark-”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes, but I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“I don’t feel obligated to give you some comfort sex. I want you to feel better. We just can’t make it a habit, okay?” 

“Okay,” Ethan whispered. 

“Let’s get out of the bathroom, though.”

Mark scooped up Ethan’s wobbly body bridal style to carry him into their bedroom knowing that is where Ethan was the most comfortable. Mark walked within a few feet of the bed before Ethan spoke up. 

“Not the bed,” he mumbled into Mark’s shoulder. “I don’t want to lie down. I want to be able to see you.” 

Mark didn’t dare question his boyfriend, especially not when he was feeling fragile. He gently sat Ethan down in their big reading chair in the corner of the room, drawing their curtains shut. 

Squatting in front of him, Mark asked Ethan, “Are you sure you want this? You’re upset and I want to make sure you want to.” 

“I want to,” Ethan whispered, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Mark’s lips. “I want to.” 

Cupping Ethan’s cheek, Mark didn’t let Ethan break from the kiss he started. He drew him close, deepening the kiss putting his hand behind Ethan’s head to tangle into his soft brown hair. With a gentle grip on the strands of hair, Mark tugged Ethan’s head to the side and trailed hot kisses down his exposed skin. The kisses left Ethan panting, wanting more. Wanting to feel Mark more, wanting to accept anything and everything he gave him. 

Mark settled down onto his knees between Ethan’s spread legs. He gently tugged Ethan’s pants and boxers down, exposing his half hard erection. 

“You can always back out,” Mark reminded him. 

“I don’t want to,” Ethan whispered, gazing down at his boyfriend. It was truly a sight to see Mark down on his knees in front of him. 

Without another word, Mark leant down and lapped at the head of Ethan’s cock. Ethan let out a groan, digging his nails into the arms of the chair. He took Ethan’s length into his mouth, allowing Ethan to grow to full mast on his tongue. The sensation pulled a groan out from Mark’s chest, knowing he caused this kind of reaction in Ethan always made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

When Mark started to bob his head on Ethan’s length is when he started moaning like he couldn’t handle it. The pleasure coursed through Ethan’s body sending tingles down his legs, causing his toes to curl. The heat was slowly building between his hips. 

“That’s so good, Mark,” Ethan moaned, petting Mark’s dark curls. 

One of Mark’s warm hands reached up into Ethan’s shirt and gently kneaded his sides and the other hand found a home on Ethan’s thigh, gently digging his fingers in. Tears streamed down Ethan’ face as it hit him. 

Mark loved him. Mark wanted nothing more than comfort and love for him and that caused a warm feeling he couldn’t place to bloom in his heart. 

He was realizing he was comfortable with Mark. Mark just wanted him, in any way that he came. He wanted him despite his trauma, despite getting caught up in his own head and disrespecting him. 

Mark wanted all of him. 

“What’s wrong?” Mark asked after he pulled off Ethan with a loud, wet pop. 

“No no, nononono, don’t stop. I was so close,” Ethan whined. 

“No, what’s wrong?” Mark pressed again. 

“Nothing, I just realized how much you love me. Now, please,” Ethan begged, his voice raising slightly in pitch. 

“My pleasure,” Mark uttered out before plunging down on Ethan’s length again, nestling him in the back of his throat, swallowing around him. 

“Fuck, yes!” Ethan groaned out, his legs trembling. “I’m going to come, Mark.” 

Mark pulled off of Ethan again, not really ready to swallow when Ethan came. He quickly replaced his mouth with a confident hand, quickly stroking Ethan. 

“I love you,” Ethan huffed out, back arching. 

“I love you, too.” 

With a deep groan, Ethan’s orgasm washed over him. Warm waves passing over him, his body trembling with the force of the orgasm. 

“That’s it, baby boy,” Mark husked as Ethan’s come splattered over his chin and neck. 

The words sent a shiver down Ethan’s body as he became over sensitive. Mark pulled his own shirt off to clean himself off before tossing it aside. Mark carefully straddled Ethan’s lap so he could pull him close and hold him. Ethan didn’t hesitate in rubbing his hands over Mark’s back, mumbling ‘thank you’s’ into his bare chest. 

“Please don’t get mad,” Mark started, feeling Ethan’s body tense up. “But I think maybe you should look into someone to talk to. I can only do so much. I did before I met you.”

Ethan took a deep breath, trying to simply take in what Mark had just told him. 

“I think you’re right.” 

“It doesn’t have to be tomorrow, or even next week, but promise me you’ll start looking?”

“I will,” Ethan promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -TATC


	11. Day Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should mention two things before starting this chapter. 
> 
> 1\. I feel a ton better, but I am in the age range where I'm a "long hauler." While I am not contagious, I still have lingering symptoms. 
> 
> 2\. There is come eating in this chapter.
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

It was a cozy Sunday this week. Mark and Ethan were pressed up against each other on the couch. They had been getting better at taking time for themselves to just relax and catch up with each other and their Netflix shows. Ethan was finally starting to feel comfortable letting Mark handle him so gently and intimately. Mark felt like he was getting better at allowing Ethan to touch him and he felt like it was getting easier to touch Ethan in the ways he desired to be touched. 

They were cuddled together on the longer section of their sectional couch, the TV humming quietly in the background. Ethan was nestled between Mark’s legs, his head resting in the center of his boyfriend’s firm chest. A light throw blanket was draped over Ethan’s shoulders, encompassing them both in heat. It was the perfect day to be couch potatoes. It wasn’t a rainy day, but it was on the gloomier side for California. The sky was overcast and the neighborhood was quiet. Their bellies were contently full, having had a good lunch.

Mark reached down under the blanket and slid his hands up the back of Ethan’s sweatshirt that he was wearing as a shirt. He scratched his blunt nails nightly along Ethan’s warm skin causing Ethan to purr at the sensation. He absolutely loved it when Mark scratched lightly at his back or his scalp. Ethan sighed contentedly, nuzzling himself impossibly closer to his boyfriend’s warm body.

“You’re adorable,” Mark admired, pressing his chin down against his chest to look at his boyfriend. He was met with Ethan’s messy hair, splayed across his chest. 

“Thank you,” Ethan mumbled quietly, the vibrations of his voice thrumming through Mark’s body. 

Ethan tilted his head up and pressed kisses to the parts of Mark he could reach, which was really only his chin and the side of his jaw. With a grin Mark tilted his head down and met Ethan halfway to kiss his lips. They laid there, kissing lazily. Mark took his time coaxing Ethan’s lips open, not wanting to rush the gentle moment they had between them. Ethan reached up to cradle Mark’s jaw, shuffling up higher on his body, his entire weight pressing against Mark. 

Mark’s hand slid down Ethan’s back, cupping his ass in response, gently pressing his thigh between Ethan’s legs. Ethan whimpered softly at the action, gently biting Mark's lip. The action earned a groan from the other man. Slowly and carefully, Ethan rolled his hips into Mark's, letting out a heavy breath through his nose. 

Their kiss gradually got heavier, Mark’s tongue gliding against Ethan’s. They nipped softly at each other's lips, continuing the rolling of their hips together. 

Mark broke the kiss, heavy breaths leaving his mouth. Ethan was having none of it, however, attaching his lips to Mark’s neck. Mark let out a deep groan, Ethan managed to find the most sensitive spot on his neck on the first try. A hand wove into Ethan’s hair, keeping him in place at Mark's neck, his hips moving faster against Ethan’s. Pleasure began blooming between both men's hips, the friction feeling absolutely delightful for both parties.

"Can I suck your cock?" Ethan asked breathlessly as he pulled away from Mark's neck. 

Ethan had a bright, wild look in his eyes as he asked Mark, he was breathing heavy, desire evident in his body language. Mark felt a little apprehensive, wanting to feel what Ethan had felt the day before. He wanted to, but fears always lingered in his mind.

“Y-yeah, you can. I’m nervous, but I want you to,” Mark assured. 

Ethan grinned, reaching up to trace his fingers on Mark’s cheekbone hoping to comfort him. 

“Okay, you can always stop me,” Ethan murmured lowly, reaching down to unbutton Mark’s night shirt. 

Ethan carefully unbuttoned each button, pushing the shirt open once he’d reached the bottom. He ran his hands over the expanse of Mark’s firm torso. He pressed wet kisses down Mark’s chest and down his toned stomach. He shuddered at the sensation, heart beating quickly as Ethan’s hands found their way to the band of lounge shorts. 

“Ready?” Ethan asked, hooking his fingers into Mark’s shorts and boxers. 

“Yea,” he breathed in response. 

Ethan pulled down Mark’s clothes, helping slide them off his ankles and feet. He ran his hands up and down Mark’s toned thighs, loving the way his legs twitched at the sensation of soft hands running along the sensitive skin. 

Pulling the blanket to his shoulders, Ethan settled down on his stomach between Mark’s legs as he sat up against the couch cushions. Gently holding Mark’s hips, Ethan leant down and kissed the base of his cock, licking lightly up the length until he reached the head, stopping short of the most sensitive area. Mark looked down, face flushing at the sight of Ethan between his legs. 

Mark thought Ethan looked gorgeous. His hair was messy and his gaze was fixed on Mark’s cock. Ethan’s cheeks were slightly pink and he looked absolutely stunning. He looked up at Mark as he gently gripped the base of Mark’s cock and led the head to his lips. Ethan maintained eye contact as he sunk down two-thirds of Mark’s thick, impressive length. Mark tossed his head back at the sight, groaning softly. 

“You are so sexy,” Mark breathed out, reaching down to stroke Ethan’s hair. 

Ethan hummed gently around Mark and slowly began bobbing his head. He turned his gaze down, focusing on Mark’s lower stomach as he moved his head. 

“You’re per-perfect,” Mark praised as Ethan began to pick up his speed slightly, dragging his hands down along the insides of Mark’s toned thighs. 

  
  


Ethan dared to do what Mark had done to him a few days ago. He drug his hand up the inside of his right thigh, pads of his fingers trailing on his balls gently. 

" _ Fuck,  _ that's good, baby boy," Mark groaned, gently rolling his hips up into Ethan’s mouth. 

Ethan moaned, thoroughly enjoying the sensation of Mark sliding slightly down the back of his throat. Ethan reached up, gripping Mark’s wrists and guiding his hands to his own hair, hoping Mark would take the hint. He slid half way up his length, giving Mark the time to put the pieces together. After a few moments of no movement, Mark let out a frustrated groan. 

“Ethan, please.”

Ethan kept his head still and gripped his love’s hips, pulling toward himself before letting go. Mark finally,  _ finally,  _ took the hint and began moving his hips into Ethan’s mouth. He stared down at Ethan, his eyes were screwed shut, sweat slightly glistening on his hairline. The area between Mark’s hips was quickly becoming molten as he quickly rocked his hips into his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Baby, I’m going to come,” He huffed out. 

Ethan hummed around Mark in response, drawing his gaze up to his boyfriend, making and holding eye contact. The sight nearly sent Mark over the edge, Ethan’s hazel eyes looked lustful, but also loving. He looked so content staring up at Mark with his mouth full of his boyfriend’s cock. Warmth blossomed through Mark’s chest as he realized Ethan loved to just pleasure him. He wasn’t using Mark for his own pleasure but he wanted to  _ give  _ him pleasure. 

That realization sent Mark over the edge, he groaned out an airy  _ ‘Ethan, baby boy,’ _ as the pleasure exploded between his hips. Come filled Ethan’s mouth and he didn’t hesitate to swallow around Mark, helping him through the orgasm. 

Ethan finally came up and off Mark’s length as he was catching his breath. Mark grabbed Ethan’s upper arms and tugged him close, pressing his lips to Ethan’s, immediately sliding his tongue into his mouth. He groaned as he tasted himself on Ethan’s tongue. After a few moments of heated kissing, Mark pulled away, leaving both of them breathless. 

“Can I?” He asked between breaths, staring at Ethan. His lips were swollen and red from the much wanted abuse from Mark’s cock.

“What?” Ethan asked, confused.

“Can I suck your cock again?” 

Ethan nodded, still trying to catch his breath. 

Mark reached down, grabbing Ethan’s hips and dragging him up towards his chest. Ethan’s hips were directly in front of Mark’s face, an evident bulge in the front of his basketball shorts. 

“I won’t last long,” Ethan breathed as Mark tugged down his shorts. 

“I just want to make you feel good,” Mark whispered as Ethan’s cock sprung free. 

Ethan cupped Mark’s cheek as he took Ethan into his mouth. Ethan clenched his eyes shut as he felt himself poke the inside of Mark’s cheek. Pleasure instantly built up in his core, staying true to his word that he would not last long at all. As Mark sunk completely down on Ethan, he reached around and grabbed handfuls of his ass, kneading it in his hands. 

“Mark,” Ethan breathed, nearing the edge quicker than he had originally thought. Having his mouth full of Mark’s cock was more pleasurable to him than he once thought. 

Mark, just like before, had pulled off Ethan and replaced his mouth with his hand. 

“Come for me, baby boy. Be good for me,” Mark coaxed, stroking his hand over Ethan. 

Ethan came at Mark’s words, his body shaking and trembling with pleasure. Come splattered over Mark’s face and Ethan groaned at the sight, warmth washing over him. Without thinking, Ethan sat down into Mark’s lap and began licking at his face to clean his own come off. Ethan felt hazy cleaning Mark’s face, he just wanted him to feel better. Wanted his lover to be clean, wanting to be good for him. Mark whimpered softly at the sensation, holding onto Ethan’s sides. 

“Hey, that’s good,” Mark said, coaxing Ethan away from his face. “You were perfect, as always.”

Ethan sighed with relief, nuzzling into the crook of Mark’s neck. Mark held Ethan gently, rubbing his back. 

“Was that okay?” Ethan asked after a few quiet minutes. 

“It was perfect,” Mark assured. 

“I loved that,” Ethan whispered, wrapping his arms around Mark’s shoulders. 

“Me too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -TATC


	12. Day Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some talk about negative body image in this chapter, so please take care of yourselves. 
> 
> ALSO, I really love getting comments here and messages on Tumblr. I am so, so happy you all enjoy this story. I was originally going to make it 14 chapters, but I feel like I should add a few more and show the benefits of the 14 days. Let me know what you all think either down below or on Tumblr, I'll link it at the end!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Ethan stood in the bathroom he shared with Mark, just staring at himself in the large mirror that was mounted over the sinks. He stood shirtless, looking over every flaw on his body. He mulled over how different his body has looked in the last couple of years. When he met Mark he was so much thinner, smaller, and his muscles showed through his skin. Now he was broader, bigger,  _ fatter.  _

Trailing his hand over his stomach and down to his thighs, Ethan nearly gagged, disgusted in how overweight he had let himself become. He wanted to tell Mark about how he was feeling but he knew Mark would lie to him, tell him that he was perfect and that he was actually healthier than when they had first met. 

_ “Just exercise more and eat less, Ethan.”  _ His venomous voice rang through his head. Those words that he used to whisper to him had been ringing through his head since he had seen him in the sex store. 

Ethan was grateful Mark had been busy the last few days, managing to tiptoe around eating. Ethan had hardly eaten anything in the last two days and it was starting to show. His eyes were sinking in slightly and he felt dizzy, headaches pulsing at his temples. He tried his best to ignore how his body was screaming at him to eat and he put on a cut off shirt, a thick sweatshirt and thicker sweatpants. Slowly, with calculated steps, Ethan went to a spare room in their home that had a few free weights and the exercise bike. 

He hauled himself onto the bike, adjusting it so that the tension was at the highest he could stand and began pedalling. He was already hot and sweating from the unnecessary layers he had on, but he didn’t care. He wanted to do anything that would burn the most calories in his body. The dizziness was becoming too much too quickly, his body feeling weak and his pedalling slowing down. 

  
  


He needed water to trick his body into thinking it was full. He slowly got off the bike, knees wobbling under his weight. Taking a deep breath to try and steady himself, he slowly walked out of the room and toward the kitchen. He could hear soft sounds of plates clinking and running water, indicating to him that Mark was in the kitchen washing dishes, likely taking a break from recording. 

“Hey baby boy,” Mark greeted, glancing over his shoulder as he heard Ethan’s soft steps. 

“Hi, I just need some water,” Ethan mumbled, feeling like his arms and legs weighed a ton and he could hardly hold up his own weight. He was leaning slightly against the wall.

Mark just nodded and turned back to washing the dishes. Ethan reached for a glass from the cabinet and tugged open the fridge with more effort than was probably necessary. His stomach rumbled loudly at the sight of all of the food lined up in the refrigerator. 

“You want some lunch, baby?” Mark asked, turning the faucet off at the sound of Ethan’s stomach. 

“No, not hungry,” Ethan whispered back, his stomach betraying him. 

“Ethan, I can hear your stomach all the way over here. We haven’t eaten together in a few days,” Mark reasoned, drying off his hands, his back still toward Ethan. He couldn’t see the way Ethan’s body was starting to sway.

Ethan reached for the Brita Filter Pitcher out of the fridge, it was nearly full, the weight being a little too much for Ethan’s weak body. It slipped from his fingers when he had just lifted it an inch from the shelf, slamming back down to the tempered glass. His body betrayed him, his knees finally buckled, not having any energy to keep his weight up. The glass slipped from his fingers, shattering on the floor. 

“Ethan,” Mark gasped, whipping around to find his boyfriend clutching to the refrigerator door, trying and failing to hold himself up. Mark watched in horror as his boyfriend crumpled to the floor. 

Mark rushed across the small space in the kitchen, hooking his arms under Ethan’s armpits to hold him up against his chest. He noticed how sweaty and frail Ethan looked and that’s when he started putting the pieces together. Ethan had told him he had been eating but the food in the fridge and pantry wasn’t dwindling and his stomach continued growling angrily at him. 

“When was the last time you fucking ate, Ethan,” Mark whispered harshly, fear thrumming through his body. 

“Three days,” Ethan slurred slightly, his head rolling back against Mark’s shoulder, eyes clenched shut. 

“Goddamnit, Ethan,” Mark said, exasperated and frustrated with himself that he hadn’t noticed his boyfriend struggling. 

“S-Sorry,” he mumbled, his speech bumpy as Mark maneuvered his body to pick him up bridal style, carrying him into the living room.

“Stay here,” Mark mumbled, laying his love down on their couch. “I’m going to go make you a sandwich and get some chips.”

“No,” Ethan mumbled, weakly clinging to Mark’s wrist as he pulled away. 

“Ethan, look at yourself baby boy. You couldn’t even get yourself water.”

Ethan could see the worry in Mark’s eyes and he knew his boyfriend was right. He weakly nodded, embarrassed. 

Mark mumbled a quiet  _ okay, _ and made his way to the kitchen to fix Ethan a quick turkey, cheese, and lettuce sandwich on some wheat bread, hoping it would be enough for his body. He quickly plated the sandwich and grabbed a snack sized bag of chips. 

When he made his way back into the living room with the food, Ethan was sitting up on the couch, his face so much paler than usual. The sight caused a pang in Mark’s heart, knowing his boyfriend didn’t see himself as gorgeous as he did. 

“Here,” Mark whispered, setting the food down into Ethan’s lap, kneeling down to the side of the couch. 

With a frown, Ethan picked up the sandwich that would have looked appetizing to anyone, but not to Ethan. At least not right at this moment. 

“What happened, baby boy? You were doing so well,” Mark mumbled, stroking Ethan’s sweaty hair away from his forehead. 

“Seeing him just..brought back everything,” Ethan mumbled after forcing himself to swallow a bite of the sandwich. It was good, but Ethan could feel it settling heavily in his stomach. 

  
  


“I’m going to go clean up the kitchen, and when I come back I want to see more of that gone,” Mark instructed, gesturing at the sandwich and chips. “Just eat what you can. You’re perfect and in a little bit, I want to show you how perfect you are. If that’s okay with you.” 

Ethan nodded, staring down at the food in his lap. Mark pressed a kiss to the top of Ethan’s head as he stood from where he knelt down on the floor. Mark slowly made his way to the kitchen, tears rimming his eyes as he saw the glass shattered on the floor. Carefully he picked up the glass, luckily managing to not cut himself on it. He gently closed the fridge door and took a deep breath, leaning against it. He remembered just how fragile Ethan was mentally and physically when they first met two years prior. He was so thin and bony, it scared Mark. It terrified him to see Ethan slowly slipping back into old habits. 

Mark was happy to see Ethan had eaten the majority of his food when he walked back into the kitchen. 

“If I eat more, I’ll get sick,” Ethan whispered, clearly embarrassed. 

“I’m proud of you,” Mark assured him, taking the plate and empty bag of chips from his lap, setting them down on the coffee table. He sat on the edge of the couch cushion, a hand on Ethan’s thigh. “Head upstairs, and take off all of your clothes. Get the lube out, I’m going to make sure you understand how perfect you are, baby boy.” 

“Okay,” Ethan whispered, his eyes brightening up at the thought. 

“Is that okay with you?” Mark asked, pressing a hand to Ethan’s chest as he moved to get up. He wanted to ensure Ethan really wanted to do this and it wasn’t just because Mark told him to. 

“Y-Yes, I just, feel fat right now,” Ethan looked into Mark’s eyes as he responded. He was genuine, Mark concluded. He stood up, allowing Ethan to walk past him and toward their bedroom.

Mark took the plate with a small portion of sandwich still left on it to the kitchen to dispose of it and leave the plate in the sink. Mark made his way to their bedroom, heartbeat speeding up at the thought of Ethan waiting for him. When he gently pushed the door open, he was happy with the sight he saw. His gorgeous boyfriend splayed out and ready for him on the bed. His bare body looked gorgeous and his pale skin was perfect to Mark. 

Grabbing at Ethan’s ankles, Mark pulled him to the edge of the bed so his legs were hanging off. The action caused a squeak to leave Ethan’s lips that was quickly silenced by Mark attaching his lips to Ethan’s.

Mark trailed wet kisses all over Ethan’s body reminding him how perfect every inch was. Reminding him how his arms were not too big and neither were his thighs. Mark told him how much he loved the small pouch at the base of his stomach and how much he could see his healthy workout routine in the way his arms and abs were slightly toned. Ethan trembled at the compliments and touches against his body. 

Mark bent Ethan’s legs up so his feet were planted flat on the edge of the bed, leaving him open for Mark. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Mark mumbled, reaching for the bottle of lube and kneeling down in front of Ethan so his body was eye level to Mark. 

Leaning forward, experimentally Mark pressed his tongue flat to Ethan’s perineum, earning a high whine at the action. Mark continued lapping at the sensitive skin there, small groans leaving Ethan’s lips. As he licked at Ethan’s sensitive skin, Mark quietly spread lube over three of his fingers. He pressed the tip of a wet finger at Ethan’s entrance, silently asking for consent. 

“ _ Please _ .”

Mark complied, slowly pressing a finger in. Ethan moaned at the intrusion, not feeling any pain just a dull pressure. Mark moved his finger in Ethan, looking for the spot to pleasure him. Once Mark felt Ethan was used to one finger he added a second and then a third after the stretch. He curled his finger’s up into Ethan, hitting his prostate and earning a loud moan. 

He loved hearing Ethan in pleasure. 

“Touch yourself, baby boy,” Mark instructed, standing back up to his feet, looking down at Ethan. His face was red and sweaty. He looked  _ ruined  _ as Mark continued to stimulate his prostate _. _

Ethan didn’t hesitate to reach down and tug at his engorged cock. He came within seconds of his quick tugs and Mark jabbing repeatedly into his prostate. 

“That’s it baby,” Mark whispered as Ethan slowly caught his breath. “Don’t you ever forget how perfect you are.”

Ethan whined as Mark withdrew his hand. 

“I love you,” Ethan panted. 

“I love you, too. Please talk to me next time, baby boy,” Mark whispered, leaning down to press his forehead against Ethan’s. 

“I will, I’m so sorry I scared you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -TATC


	13. Day Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many more chapters will come after the next one. 
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

The next morning, Mark made sure to get up before Ethan to try and make him a simple breakfast that was a little bit lighter. Mark toasted a couple of slices of bread for the both of them and lightly spread butter across them as the coffee maker was dripping their hot coffee. He cut up a banana into small circles and nestled them on a plate next to the buttery toast. After preparing the coffee to each of their likings in a travel mug to avoid spilling, Mark carefully arranged all of the food onto a bed tray so he could carry it back into their bedroom. 

Slowly and carefully Mark made his way back to his shared bedroom with Ethan. He slowly pushed the door open with his shoulder, careful to not spill anything. When he turned to face the bed, he found Ethan groggily sitting up against the headboard, a look of confusion on his face as he saw Mark. He looked absolutely gorgeous in the dim lighting of the bedroom. It was a rare instance that he had gone to bed the night before without a shirt on, so when the sheet had fallen down into his lap, it left his chest exposed. His hair was messy and a soft look in his eyes from drowsiness. 

“What’s all this?” Ethan asked, voice still raspy from sleep.

“Breakfast.”

Ethan swallowed thickly, knowing Mark was just trying to be helpful, but he wasn’t in much of a mood to eat. 

“It’s just toast and fruit,” Mark added quickly as he walked toward Ethan’s side of the bed and rested the bed tray over Ethan’s thighs. 

“Okay,” Ethan whispered, reaching for his coffee thermos that had a pastel blue ‘E’ printed into the side of the black exterior. 

Mark carefully climbed into the other side of the bed to not knock over the tray and slowly ate along with Ethan. Breakfast took longer than what would be considered ‘normal,’ but Ethan was grateful Mark hadn’t mentioned anything about it. Between bites both men talked about what they would do for that day, what they were thinking about recording. 

Ethan felt blessed to have Mark and incredibly grateful with how patient he was. He could always make him feel better. 

\--

It was impulsive really, a last minute decision. Ethan found himself alone in his bedroom as Mark was recording a couple hours worth of playing a game for his channel. He stared down the newly washed plug he had bought and a bottle of lube. He wanted to try to use it by himself first and hopefully surprise Mark by telling him. 

Or hopefully showing him. 

Ethan slowly undressed, letting his clothes pile up on the floor, not bothering to put them in their proper location. The room was lit in the warm, late afternoon sun. Ethan spread himself out in the center of the bed, trailing his own hands along his body. He felt nervous about trying it out, but tomorrow was the next goal. The ultimate goal of all of this, penetritve sex. He wanted so badly to be able to experience that with Mark. 

He reached down and tugged at his half-hard cock to coax himself up to full mast. Ethan groaned softly at the pleasure bubbling lightly in the pit of his stomach. He was always so sensitive, sometimes it was almost embarrassing. 

Once he felt relaxed enough, Ethan reached for the plug and covered it in a  _ healthy _ amount of lube. Drawing one foot up and planting it flat on the bed to expose himself, he reached down to tease his rim slightly with the tip of the curved plug. The action smeared the lube around his opening and sent a shiver down Ethan’s spine. He willed himself to relax by taking a deep breath. The toy was slightly tapered, narrower at the tip and wider near the flared base. 

With a deep breath, Ethan gently pressed the toy in slowly, moaning at the way it stretched him. Sweat was beading at his hairline, the stretch not too uncomfortable considering the events of the day before. 

“Fuck,” Ethan breathed into the empty room as he continued to push the toy in, pausing just for a moment before continuing. 

His body greedily accepted the intrusion, nearly sucking in the toy. 

“ _ Oh, oh,”  _ Ethan whimpered, his voice pitchy and whiny as the toy slid in completely, only stopped by the flared base. The tip of the toy gently grazed his prostate, sending warm waves through his body. 

“Oh, my God, that’s good,” he muttered to himself, rocking his hips back into the mattress to shift the toy inside of him. He shuddered at the way it brushed slowly against his prostate,  _ back and forth, back and forth. _

Willing himself to stop the movement in his hips, Ethan slowly got up from the bed, whining at every small shift of the toy in his body and tugged a silk robe on that was hanging on the en-suite bathroom door. He padded down toward Mark’s office where he could hear him talking to the camera. He pushed his way into the door and peered in, waiting for Mark to see him. Once his eyes landed on his boyfriend, he quickly paused the game and turned off the camera. 

“Hi,” Mark smiled, pleasantly surprised at the sight of his boyfriend in a robe, his chest peaking through the material. 

“Hi,” Ethan mumbled, walking across the office, Mark turning in his chair to face Ethan. 

With a shy grin, Ethan settled into Mark’s lap, knees on either sides of his hips. Mark's hands instantly rested on Ethan’s outer thighs. 

"You look good, baby boy," Mark mumbled, shamelessly raking his eyes over his boyfriend's body. 

"I know, Ethan breathed, guiding Mark's hands under the robe and up to his bare hips. 

Mark bit his lip as he realized Ethan was not wearing any underwear. He gently kneaded the meaty flesh of Ethan’s ass, the action just  _ barely _ shifting the plug inside of him. 

" _ More, Mark,"  _ Ethan breathed, hooking his arms around Mark's shoulders and latching his lips to his jaw. 

What else could Mark do other than fill his sweet boyfriend's request? He drug his hands to Ethan’s lower back before taking his left asscheek into his hand and dragging his right index finger down the inner curve of Ethan’s ass. His eyebrows shot up as he was met with the heart shaped base of the plug resting snuggly inside Ethan. Firmly, Mark pressed his finger against the base, pushing the toy right up against Ethan’s prostate. A broken moan left Ethan’s lips at the stimulation. 

"What's gotten into you, baby boy?" Mark questioned with a sly grin on his face. 

Ethan didn't answer at first, he just squirmed in Mark’s hold. His mouth felt full of cotton, pleasure buzzing through him. 

"I asked you a question, baby."

"I-I was thinking we could jerk eachother off. And-o- _ ooh,"  _ Ethan was cut off by Mark reapplying pressure to the toy and moving his finger in small circles against it. 

"And?" Mark teased.

"I wanted to do it with the toy, b-because I wanted to know what it was like to c-come full," Ethan’s voice was whiney, relishing in the sensations of the toy stimulating his nerve endings. 

"Mm, okay," Mark’s voice rumbled against Ethan’s neck where his face was nuzzled as he listened to the delicious sounds of his boyfriend's whimpers. "Let's go to the bedroom."

Ethan erupted in excited giggles as Mark gripped his ass tightly and stood up in one swift movement. The silky robe had come slightly undone, the material hanging off Ethan’s pale shoulders. 

"You are so sexy, " Mark mumbled, carrying Ethan through the house. 

Ethan didn't respond with words, instead he swooped his head down to press hot kisses to his neck. Mark dug his nails into Ethan’s skin at the sensation of his love’s lips on his neck. Mark decided he would try something a little.. different. 

Once he neared the doorway to the bedroom, instead of going inside, Mark pressed Ethan roughly against the wall. He used his hips to press into Ethan firmly, smirking at how hard his boyfriend was. The action caused Ethan to gasp, dragging his hands up Mark's muscular arms before tangling his hands in the dark locks. 

"So fucking  _ hot,"  _ Ethan nearly  _ purred.  _

"I think you should look in the mirror," Mark muttered, drawing Ethan into a dirty kiss. He slipped his tongue along Ethan’s. His boyfriend whined, returning the kiss just as eagerly, sucking softly on Mark’s lower lip. 

Mark roughly pulled Ethan away from the wall and kicked the door open and walked through it before kicking it shut with his foot. He tossed Ethan down onto the bed, tugging his clothes off as he loomed over the edge of the bed. 

"Come down here," Ethan requested softly, patting the bed next to him. 

Mark's grin softened into a gentle smile, allowing himself to fall down next to Ethan. Both men turned to look at eachother, gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. The bottle of lube that Ethan had used before was still on the bed. His cheeks flushed as he reached for it and squeezed a dollop into the palm of his hand. 

Ethan hooked his leg with Mark's, drawing him close to his side, their hips touching. Shyly Ethan reached across Mark’s body and took his hard cock into his hand. Mark hissed at the pleasurable sensation, pressing his head back into the soft materials of the bed as Ethan began to stroke him quickly. 

“Please touch me,” Ethan whimpered, rocking his hips back and forth against the bed to stimulate the toy nestled in his body. Mark grinned, his hair matting to his forehead with sweat. Mark reached for Ethan’s leaking cock, the tip flushed a deep red and held him firmly, stroking his partner’s velvety skin. 

“You are so gorgeous, baby boy,” Mark murmured lowly, leaning slightly to graze his lips against Ethan’s. 

Ethan whimpered and drew himself closer to Mark, resting his head on his partner’s shoulder. 

“I won’t last long,” Ethan whispered softly, feeling molten between his hips. 

“Hold on just a little bit, baby boy. I’m almost there,” Mark breathed, nuzzling his nose into the top of Ethan’s head. Soft sounds of pleasure were erupting from both men, Ethan’s hips stuttering in their movements and Mark’s thumb pressing roughly into the slit of Ethan’s cock drove him wild. 

“I- Coming, coming,  _ coming, Mark _ ,” Ethan babbled, his hand’s rhythm faltering on Mark, his hips desperately moving back and forth, down into the bed and up into Mark’s hand. 

“Just a second, baby.” 

“No, coming.  _ I’m coming _ ,” Ethan moaned out loudly, the pleasure exploding in his body and hips quivering as an impressive amount of come exploded from the tip of his cock, creating a mess on his stomach and Mark’s hand. 

Ethan’s loud whimpers and groans of pleasure drove Mark over the edge as he watched Ethan’s body being taken over with pure pleasure. Mark made a mess of his own on Ethan’s hand.

“F- _ uck,”  _ Ethan nearly cried as he still ground his hips back into the bed, the toy still driving him wild. Mark couldn’t help himself but to dig his thumb into the slit of Ethan’s cock again as he was becoming overstimulated. Ethan’s hand on him had stopped a few seconds before, still looped loosely around his softening length. 

“It hurts but I fucking  _ love it _ ,” Ethan whimpered out pathetically, tears prickling the corners of his eyes. 

Mark watched in awe as another wave of pleasure crashed through Ethan. Ethan’s body jolted as if he was being electrocuted, back arching and a  _ wail  _ of pure pleasure leaving his lips. 

“God, fuck me,” Ethan whispered, hardly coherent as he was coming down from his high. 

“That’s for tomorrow,” Mark assured with a grin as he reached down between Ethan’s legs to gently pull the toy from his body. 

Ethan whimpered softly at the new empty feeling in his body. Body still trembling, he rolled onto his side to nuzzle himself into Mark. 

“Was that okay? You’re shaking,” Mark asked worriedly, rubbing his hands over Ethan’s back. 

“That was fucking  _ amazing.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -TATC


	14. Day Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really smutty, you've been warned.
> 
> I'm also in the mood to write Trans!Ethan and Mark/Amy/Ethan one shots?? Let me know what y'all would like to see in the comments or in the tumblr at the end!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Hot water cascaded over both men as they kissed passionately under the stream. Ethan’s arms were wrapped loosely around Mark's neck while Mark had a firm hand on the small of Ethan’s back, pressing him close. He loved the feeling of their warm, wet skin pressed together. Mark's opposite hand was gently cupping Ethan’s jaw, fingers slightly tangled in the damp hair at the nape of his neck. 

Their tongues worked together beautifully, carefully exploring each others mouths as if it were the first time. Mark's hand slid down Ethan’s spine and gripped his ass roughly, spreading him open for him and tracing a finger over his rim. 

The action caused Ethan’s breath to quiver, his body fully anticipating what was to come. Mark gently pressed his middle finger into Ethan and reached back up to his hair to tug his head back. Ethan moaned loudly, a desperate look in his eyes as he stared up at Mark. 

"I was thinking," Mark murmured, slotting his thigh with Ethan’s, watching him intently as water poured over him. "I could plug you, we could have a slow day. Messages, cuddles, teasing."

Mark curled his finger inside of Ethan, smirking as he gasped at the stimulation. He dipped his head down, lips on the shell of Ethan’s ear, whispering hotly against the skin there.

"And then, after I've teased you all day, some afternoon sex," Mark muttered, grinding himself against Ethan.

"I want that, " Ethan breathed out. 

"Good, I want to give it to you," Mark said sweetly as he reached for the plug that sat on one of the shower shelves. "Are you ready?" He asked Ethan as he removed his finger to get the lube to make the experience pleasurable. 

"Yes," he mumbled, reaching up to turn the shower head away from them so Mark could coat the toy. 

"Hold yourself open for me, " he instructed softly once Ethan consented and he coated the toy in lube, figuring it was better than using water as a subsititue. Ethan complied, excitement exploding in him. 

"On three, 1..2...3."

Mark  _ slowly _ pushed the toy in one drag, leaving Ethan trembling and panting. He was rutting his hips softly on Mark's thigh as warm pleasure bubbled inside him. Mark placed a hand on Ethan’s hip.

"None of that, save it for later," Mark scolded softly. "Let's get cleaned up and calmed down. "

Mark adjusted the water so that it was slightly colder, and began to gently clean Ethan’s body. He gently drug his lips along his bare shoulders, Ethan leaning into every touch. Once Ethan was cleaned, they switched places, Ethan gently cleaning Mark, reminding him how much he loved and appreciated him. 

They soon found themselves tangled against each other on the couch in their comfiest clothes. Mark was resting behind Ethan, a hand splayed out against his love's stomach, pulling him close. He nuzzled into the soft brown locks, taking in everything about his boyfriend. He was excited to be able to finally bring him a new, positive sexual experience. He planned to tease him all day, to ensure he was sensitive for the events that would happen later in the day.

"I love you so much," Mark mumbled against the back of Ethan’s ear, kissing gently on his jaw. 

"You're doing so good baby boy, being brave for me. Letting me hold you and love on you," Mark praised, dragging hisbhand dangerously close to Ethan’s crotch. 

"I just want to be good for you. Want to be better. " Ethan mumbled back, coherent headspace slipping away from him. "I love you, you're so patient with me."

"You are doing better," Mark assured, squeezing Ethan’s body tightly. "You're so much better, healing, coping batter than when we first met."

"So are you," Ethan whispered, turning to face his boyfriend. 

"You're healthier, " Mark whispered softly. 

"Sometimes it doesn't feel like it."

"You are so much healthier and happier than when we first met. I'm so proud of you. "

Mark sat up and pulled Ethan into his lap, wrapping a strong arm around his waist, drawing his head down to his chest with the other. Ethan’s hands twisted in Mark's shirt, cuddling impossibly close to his chest. 

"Wise men say, only fools rush in," Mark's voice filled the air around them with the soft melody of the classic Elvis tune. 

It was Ethan’s favorite song and he loved to hear Mark sing. His deep voice soothed anxieties he hadn't even realized was brewing in his mind. They gently rocked back and forth together, Ethan listening intently to Mark’s voice. 

“We should eat soon,” Mark mumbled after a few minutes of silence after the song was “finished.”

“I’m too anxious to eat,” Ethan replied softly.

“Why?” Mark asked quietly, carding his fingers through Ethan’s unstyled hair. 

“Scared to have sex. I want to, just scared for the pain, if I’ll get triggered,” Ethan whispered quietly, clenching his eyes shut. 

“How about we just have those chocolate strawberries I have in the fridge and have a little bit of wine?” 

Ethan nodded his head against Mark’s chest. Mark gently pried Ethan’s body off him, wrapping him tightly in a blanket as he made his way to the kitchen. He hoped the blanket would be enough to soothe his anxieties while he was gone. He gathered two stemless wine glasses, a bottle of red wine, and the platter of chocolate covered strawberries.

“Not too much wine,” Ethan requested quietly as Mark set everything on the coffee table. “I don’t want to be drunk, just relaxed.”

“Of course, my love.”

Mark poured the wine and settled in next to Ethan again, holding out the glass. He plucked a strawberry from the platter and held it up to his boyfriend’s lips. Mark watched intently as Ethan took a bite, eyes fluttering closed. Ethan loved chocolate covered strawberries. They fed each other the fruit and sipped on wine, it felt very comforting to do during the middle of a quiet day. Their home was dimly lit, the curtains drawn closed but the blinds left open, leaving the house in a gentle glow. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Mark mumbled, setting his glass down on the coffee table, leaning forward to capture Ethan’s lips in a gentle kiss. 

He tasted chocolate and red wine on his lips. They were each about one and a half glasses of wine in, not drunk, but perfectly buzzed, just as Ethan requested. Mark gently took the wine glass from Ethan’s fingers, resting it on the coffee table and then gently pushed him down into the couch. He hovered over Ethan, gazing down lovingly at him.

“I can’t wait to show you how good sex can be,” Mark mumbled against Ethan’s lips. 

“How good is it?” Ethan breathed.

“You can imagine,” Mark husked, leaning down to lick at Ethan’s neck, ghosting a hand over the bulge in his pants. Ethan groaned softly, a flush of pink blossoming on his cheeks. 

“Clean all this up for me,” Mark purposely dropped his voice an octave. “Are you ready or do you want a little more time?”

“Just a bit more time,” Ethan was clearly embarrassed, nervousness thrumming through him. 

Mark withdrew from Ethan’s body, helping him sit up. Mark rubbed a hand over Ethan’s shoulder and arm to soothe his arousal and nerves. After a couple of minutes, Ethan gathered the plates and glasses, taking them to the kitchen, leaving Mark in the living room alone. He thought about how much he loved Ethan and how much he adored him. He was excited to overcome his own anxieties and fears. He pushed himself up from the couch and walked up behind Ethan who was standing at the sink. Mark tightly wrapped his arms around Ethan’s waist from behind. 

“Are you okay?” Ethan asked, setting the wine glasses into the dishrack. 

“Yeah, I’m glad I get to do this with you.”

“Are  _ you  _ sure you want to?”

“Positive,” Mark assured, kissing the back of Ethan’s head. “It’s getting late in the day, you know.”

“I know, I just want to enjoy you for a bit more,” Ethan mumbled, splaying his hands over Mark’s arms after turning off the faucet. 

“You’re going to enjoy me,” Mark retorted cockily. 

“Are you sure you’re ready, too? I don’t want you to do this just because I’ve never had sex like this before and just because I asked for these fourteen days.” 

Worry was evident and clear in Ethan’s voice. Mark’s heart blossomed as Ethan asked so carefully if he still wanted to continue. He was grateful for his boyfriend. 

“I want to do this with you,” Mark said quietly, as if he spoke any louder it would shatter the gentle moment around them. He guided Ethan to turn around, his back pressing softly into the counter. “I want to have a good experience, too. A lot of my experience is from  _ her  _ and I want to do this with you. I’ve done a lot of reading about how to make this good. If you’re ready, so am I.”

Mark’s voice was soft and gentle. His deep baritone voice was always soothing for Ethan. His arms bracketed Ethan against the counter and he rested his hands on Mark’s arms, slowly dragging up over his biceps and to his shoulders. Ethan tangled his fingers in Mark’s hair and brought him down for a sweet kiss. 

Mark happily reciprocated, pressing himself close to Ethan’s body. The action sent warmth through Ethan, nipping softly at Mark’s lip in response. A kiss that started out gentle and sweet was quickly turning into a more heated experience. Mark nipped back at Ethan’s lip, earning a soft groan. Mark took the opportunity to slip his tongue alongside Ethan’s. 

Mark’s hands roamed Ethan’s body as if he was exploring him for the first time. In a way, he was. This would be the first time both men have each other completely. Ethan was just as eager, his hands dragging over Mark’s chest, his arms, his hips, as Mark’s arms were doing just the same. 

“We should go upstairs,” Ethan said breathlessly, pulling away from Mark, hands still roaming.

In response, Mark ran his hand down along Ethan’s forearm and to the palm of his hand, lacing their fingers together. Hand in hand, hearts beating rapidly in their chests, both men slowly made their way back into their shared bedroom. Their bed was still unmade as they collapsed down together, slotting their lips once again. They laid on their sides, Ethan hooking a leg over Mark’s hip, pressing their crotches together. 

Mark rolled them so that he was on top and pulled away from Ethan’s kiss to tug his shirt up over his head. Ethan reached up to touch Mark’s bear torso, enjoying the way his warm skin felt under his hands. He sat up, face to face with Mark’s tan, toned chest. Ethan licked his lips before leaning forward and dragging his tongue along Mark’s skin. Mark let out a heavy breath, resting a hand on the back of Ethan’s head. He stared down at his boyfriend, he could see Ethan was thoroughly enjoying what he was doing. Enjoying the way Mark felt on his tongue, enjoying the weight of his hand on the back of his head. 

Ethan licked and kissed lower on Mark’s torso, his hands coming down to the front of his lounge shorts. Ethan’s thin hand reached into the slit opening in the front of Mark’s shorts and through his boxers, carefully pulling Mark out of his clothes. He leant forward and lapped gently at the head of Mark’s hardening cock. 

“Jesus, Ethan,” Mark gasped, leaning down to tug at Ethan’s shirt. ‘Off’, he mumbled. Ethan moved back, pulling his shirt over his head, staring up at Mark. Mark gently pushed Ethan down, attaching his lips to Ethan’s pale, milky skin.

His lips ghosted over his nipples, a soft gasp leaving Ethan’s lips. Mark’s lips trailed lower, quicker than Ethan’s had on his own body. Mark tugged Ethan’s joggers off his legs and sat back on his calves to admire his flawless body. 

“God, I love your legs,” Mark mumbled to himself, dragging warm hands over Ethan’s thighs. 

Mark couldn’t help himself but to lean down and kiss Ethan’s inner thighs. 

“That feels good,” Ethan breathed out, pressing his head back into the pillows. 

Mark nuzzled his nose into the soft, pale skin, sending Ethan’s nerves into a frenzy. He licked and sucked at Ethan’s sensitive skin, earning moans from his boyfriend that increased in volume with each new hickey on his skin. Once Mark was content with leaving a beautiful array of purple bruises on Ethan’s thighs and his boyfriend  _ writhing _ , he sat back up, grinning to himself as he saw the damp spot in the front of Ethan’s boxers. 

“Do you still want to?” Mark asked, hands resting on Ethan’s hips. 

“Yes, please,” Ethan responded quickly. “I want to be on-on top.”

Mark smiled softly, ridding himself of the rest of his clothes before helping Ethan out of his. He traded places with Ethan, resting in the soft sheets and pillows as Ethan settled himself over his thighs after grabbing the bottle of lube. 

“No condom?” Mark asked, noticing that Ethan hadn’t grabbed one from the small box in the bedside drawer. 

“H-have you been with other people?” Ethan asked, eyes wide. 

“No! No, I just want to make sure you’re comfortable,” Mark assured, rubbing his hands over Ethan’s thighs. 

“Then no condom. If that’s okay.”

Mark nodded, smiling up at Ethan. He reached back and pressed his finger into the base of the plug that still rested snuggly inside of Ethan. Ethan’s breath stuttered at the sensation, rolling his hips back gently. Mark rested a hand on Ethan’s side as he gently gripped the base. 

“Ready?” 

With a nod and a soft ‘yes’ from Ethan, Mark gently pulled the plug out of his body. He stared at Ethans’ face, watching in awe as his brows furrowed and body trembled slightly at the loss of the full feeling.

Ethan popped the cap of the lube as soon as Mark discarded the plug and drizzled a more than healthy amount of lube over Mark’s length. Ethan settled himself over Mark, carefully lining the head of Mark’s cock with his opening, heart beating loudly in his ears. 

“Take your time,” Mark whispered, reaching to hold Ethan spread open for him. 

Ethan nodded, easing himself back, whimpering at the blunt pressure. Mark was an average length, but he was  _ thick. _ Ethan took a deep breath, willing himself to relax. They stayed in that position for a few moments before Ethan’s body just  _ gave _ , making room for Mark, the head of his cock slipping inside of him. Both men goaned, Mark at the feeling of being inside Ethan and Ethan feeling proud of himself for getting this far. 

Ethan lowered himself down on Mark, taking him in completely in one long,  _ dreadfully slow  _ drag. Mark’s jaw was clenched shut as he tried desperately not to thrust his hips up into his love, soft whimpers leaving Ethan’s lips as he was being  _ filled _ with the person he loved the most. 

“Oh, my  _ God, _ I feel so  _ full _ ,” Ethan whined out, rocking his hips, despite the burn of the stretch. He  _ loved  _ it. 

“You look so gorgeous,” Mark mumbled, hands roaming over Ethan’s entire body. His perspective was like looking at perfection itself. Ethan’s lean torso arched beautifully, eyes pressed closed and cheeks flushed pink. His cock bobbed beautifully as he rocked on Mark, the head of his cock just  _ barely  _ touching him where he wanted him the most. 

“So good,” Ethan mumbled, hand resting on Mark’s chest as he began to bounce on him. Pleasure blossomed between both men’s hips at the movement. 

Soon Ethan grew tired, resting his body on Mark’s torso, just rocking back greedily against him. Mark wrapped his arms around Ethan tightly with a better idea. He sat up with Ethan close to his chest and then maneuvered them both so he was over Ethan, never withdrawing himself from Ethan’s perfect ass. They were positioned in such a way that Ethan’s head was nearly hanging off the foot of the bed. Ethan moaned at the way Mark moved them, the way his cock was pressed firmly against his prostate. 

“Fuck me,” Ethan moaned, dragging blunt nails down Mark’s biceps. 

Mark did just that, slow but hard thrusts into Ethan’s body. The bed squeaked obnoxiously under them, but neither man cared. Moans spilled from Ethan’s lips as Mark’s forceful thrusted jerked him along the bed.

“Faster,  _ more,” _ Ethan moaned out, his hand roaming his own body, pleasure completely consuming him. 

“Greedy,” Mark said breathlessly, sitting up on his knees, reaching down behind Ethan to grab both sides of his ass, holding him wide open for him. Ethan's knees dropped open at the action, hands tangling into the sheets as Mark gave him everything he asked for. 

Fast, hard thrusts pushed Ethan down the bed, his head hanging off the edge and his shoulders dangerously close as well. He moaned like he could barely handle the pleasure exploding in him. Mark’s cock jabbed his prostate constantly,  _ MarkMarkMark,  _ spilling deliciously from Ethan’s lips as his whole world narrowed to his moment. 

“I can’t believe it’s me who gets to do this to you, baby boy,” Mark’s voice rumbled, driving Ethan absolutely  _ wild.  _ “Are you going to come for me, baby?” Mark chuckled darkly, a firm hand wrapping around Ethan’s cock, stroking him with his thrusts. 

“ _ Yes, yes, Mark!” _

“Come for me, baby boy. I want to see what I do to you,” Mark could hardly believe the words leaving his mouth. What he had intended to be a sweet, love making session turned into something he’d only seen in porn. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming for yo _ -ouu,” _ Ethan sobbed out, eyes rolling back into his head as his body spasmed and quaked. He exploded in Mark’s hand, making a mess all over his torso and Mark’s fingers. 

“That’s it baby boy,” Mark groaned, gritting his teeth as Ethan spasmed deliciously around him, continuing to thrust into him through his orgasm. 

“Keep going, keep going, come inside me,  _ please _ ,” Ethan moaned, dragging his hands over his face at the over stimulation. 

Mark goaned, digging his nose into the crook of Ethan’s neck as he ground his hips into Ethan’s willing ass. A few mindless thrusts and Ethans’ encouragement was all it took for Mark to spill into Ethan, pumping him full of hot come. Ethan groaned at the sensation, thoroughly enjoying the sensation of being filled even more. Mark didn’t picture his sweet, shy boyfriend to truly be this  _ sexy  _ and  _ dirty.  _

“I love you,” Mark mumbled, reaching to hold Ethan’s head up. 

“I love you, too,” Ethan whimpered out at the sensation of Mark softening inside him.

“Was that good for you?” Mark asked, brushing Ethan’s sweaty hair from his forehead. 

“Perfect,” Ethan whispered, leaning up to kiss Mark softly. 

After a few moments, Mark gently pulled out of Ethan. Both men took a long, hot shower. They gently cleaned each other and collapsed into bed after stripping off the dirty sheets. 

“Thank you,” Mark mumbled into Ethan’s damp hair as he spooned him. 

“Mmm, for what?”

“Trusting me.”

“Thank you for the best experience.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I wrote this.
> 
> Maybe one or two more chapters after this!
> 
> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -TATC


	15. After the Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short and it is also the last chapter. I'm sorry for the length! 
> 
> Also I don't know what's wrong with me, I have WAY too many ideas an I also just want to write a bunch of smut right now. 
> 
> I'm also really considering writing a trans Ethan or nonbinary Ethan chaptered fic. I also really love getting all the requests ya'll send. I'm going to try to fill all of them as soon as I can. Let me know what y'all would like to see in the comments or in the tumblr at the end!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

The fourteen days had been extremely beneficial for Mark and Ethan’s relationship. It’s been a couple of weeks now they’ve never felt more comfortable together. Their life had truly blossomed after it. 

Mark had discovered the truly soft and gentle side to Ethan. Under his hard shell exterior, Ethan craved those soft and gentle touches that used to make him uncomfortable. It warmed Mark to find Ethan craving and looking for Mark’s gentle touches. Mark loved to give that to him. Ethan would go looking for Mark just to sit in his lap and nuzzle into his chest.

Those were Mark’s favorite moments, when he got to hold Ethan close to him. He loved to hold him close and kiss him gently for hours. No making out, no tongues, no roaming hands, just soft gentle touches. Mark loved it when Ethan just  _ trusted  _ him with his body. To hold him and care for him when he had a bad day.

Ethan had also found a therapist that he was comfortable with. The first few sessions were awkward and  _ infuriating  _ for Ethan. He discovered things about himself he never wanted to know. He was slowly coming to the realizations that he is perfectly normal the way he is. 

  
  


Ethan had discovered something about Mark. Just as Mark had discovered the soft and gentle side to Ethan, Ethan had discovered the rough and kinky side to Mark. Sometimes it was difficult for Mark to have sex, but when they did, it was absolutely  _ explosive. _ It didn’t matter if it was vanilla or kinkier than some may expect, sex with Mark was always amazing for Ethan. 

  
  


That’s where both men found themselves, deep in passion with each other. Ethan was bent completely over on their bed, his face and chest pressed firmly against their bed, Mark’s hand holding him in place by the back of his head. His knees spread wide to accommodate for Mark, his cock just  _ barely _ grazing the bedspread beneath them. 

Mark had set a brutal pace for Ethan, slamming into his body, beautiful moans leaving his flushed red lips. 

“God, baby boy, you are so fucking  _ sexy,”  _ Mark growled, bringing up his leg to plant his foot firmly on the bed to get a better angle. The slight change in position sent Ethan’s mind and body into a wonderful frenzy of pleasure. 

“ _ MarkMarkMark, _ ” Ethan babbled, sounding borderline delirious. 

“What is it baby?” Mark rumbled, trailing his hand to Ethan’s cheek, thumb brushing against his lower lip. 

“I want to come,” Ethan whined high in his throat.

“Then come, baby boy. You deserve it.” 

Ethan reached back and stroked himself with firm, quicks strokes. It only took a few tugs before he was exploding over the bedspread with a groan of Mark’s name leaving his lips. Mark continued to use Ethan’s body to get himself off. Ethan was always more than happy to bring Mark pleasure. Mark’s hand moved from Ethan’s head and trailed over his back as he moved haphazardly into his boyfriend’s willing body. The pleasure built quickly and soon Mark was spilling into Ethan, groaning at the way Ethan squeezed around him to help him through his orgasm.

Mark gently withdrew from Ethan’s body and helped clean his love’s body and stripped the bed before lying back on the pillows. Ethan pillowed his head against Mark’s shoulder, latching his body onto Mark’s side. They kissed lazily, fingers tracing abstract patterns on each other’s bare skin. Sweet nothings and pillow talk was whispered quietly in the air. Both men couldn’t be happier in their lives, content holding each other on another lazy afternoon they’d both earned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ALSO Since I post anonymously, check out [Ao3 Feed Crankiplier](https://ao3feed-crankiplier.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for any new posts. I'll start putting TATC in the tags!
> 
> -TATC


End file.
